Lindsay’s In Business: PART 88. Not trying too hard 

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What happens when you realise your path is entrepreneurship rather than employment? Lindsay takes up the challenge and shares an account of her journey as it unfolds…

I like the hypnosis download I bought recently about How to Be More Patient.  It seems to be making a difference. Actually, I like reading the descriptions they’ve written about their other available downloads.  It makes it so easy to understand the simple psychology behind unwanted mindsets.  For example, advertising the download ‘Overcoming Negativity’, here’s what the site says:

Let’s take a second to think about that critical negative voice inside your head. You know, the one that says: “I won’t be good enough” or “It’s not going to work”. 

Have you ever considered the possibility that it isn’t your voice saying these things?

That it could be someone else’s? A parent’s, or maybe a teacher’s, friend’s or a partner’s perhaps?

No one is born negative. I mean, have you ever seen a negative young child? No question is too silly, no outfit is too outrageous. So, you’re not an innately negative person, you just ‘caught’ someone else’s negativity somewhere along the line. And this means you can break your poor thinking habits and reveal the real you. The ‘you’ you were as a young child, when anything was possible.

Wow. People just need to hear those reassuring words repeated to understand what new mindset is needed to overcome their issue.  I know it’s not that easy but it’s a bit start.

Then I got to thinking about feedback I’ve received for years but never knew what do to about: “You’re trying too hard.”  What does that even mean? I’m working too hard or being too determined?

I looked for it in the list of hypnosis downloads. Nothing there.

Then I started googling.

The second link was a comment by a Julie Gunner to an excellent article in Quora.com.  Now I get it.  And it couldn’t have come at a better time.  Right before I’m about to train up 40 practitioners over the coming month.  The comment said:

“I noticed that when I wanted things the most, that desire came with a lot of force. Not only does it put more pressure on you (which makes you act differently), but it’s not attractive to others to be pushing or trying so hard… whether it’s establishing new business relationships, or personal ones.

[If you put] yourself in a position to win, you take all the pressure off.  You stop trying so hard. You’ve done what you have to do , you’ve put in the effort to be the best, and you have placed yourself in situations that if someone wants to take advantage of that expertise or who you are – they either will or won’t …   

I think if you try too hard, you try to force a particular path, and aren’t flexible to the amazing opportunities and relationship you can build if you simply focus on being the best you can be, and allowing yourself to be open.”

I have, for years, been trying to extend my sphere of influence into other people’s decision-making territory – by showing passion, by being persuasive.  But that’s not my territory and that actually turns people off.  I just need to accept that people make their own decisions and I need to give them that space.

Mirror Mirror – a team alignment diagnostic tool and process in one, helping people align to the strategy, as well as each other.

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