“But… who am I?”

lewis carroll

Identity has been on my mind lately.

As one sociologist said: “Most people define themselves by their job. When they retire, they need a narrative about who they are now.”

It is very easy to confuse “What we do” with “who we are”.

Until some years ago I didn’t realize how much I drew upon my work as the source of my identity.

I struggled to find out how I can ensure the commitment to myself to living a significant life.

If we’re not careful, our essence and identity can become absorbed by all of our titles: wife, mother, friend, daughter, employee, coach.

The key to maintaining your balance of self and to become the most authentic version of yourself is simply focusing on what makes you happy by regularly checking in with yourself.

Analyze yourself; I mean truly analyze yourself – this is easier said than done. It takes courage and honesty. If you are ready to face yourself then start with some basics such as:

  • Who are you? Who do you actually want to become/be?
  • The gap between the two is “what is missing”
  • Make a concrete action plan to remove the gap
  • And even more important: Implement the action plan.

There is no need to “tough it out on your own.” Find a friend who is also interested in personal development and who won’t judge the struggle you are experiencing.

It is all within your reach. Success!

Anja Uitdehaag


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