Category Archives: Articles

How I learned to deal with negative people.

45130558-negativity-word-indicating-dissentt-negatives-and-negative.jpgBy: Angie Falls

A while ago I found myself in such a state that I could not proceed with my professional life. I felt like  surrounded by negative people only. After a while, I started becoming like them and started sharing their views on the chaotic work situation. There was a lot of nagging and gossiping about everything and everyone around me. Negative people just suck the life out of me. I try to stay positive and remain strong but their negativity ends up just completely draining me. I found myself feeling exhausted and depressed.

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Tackling the Elephant in the Room: Is It Even Worth It?

Isaac Newton

By River Ho Rathore

Over lunch several weeks back, a friend confided that he was unhappy with the way senior management was making decisions about their business operations, including its staff management. According to him, everyone in the team felt that improvements had to be done, from the way all tasks were considered urgent, to how the senior leaders easily assumed that team members would willingly stay late at night and still be available earlier than usual the next morning.

“Well, did you give them this feedback?,” I asked. He moved his head from side to side.

“Why not?,” I pressed on.

He drew a deep breath, intimating surrender. “I know them; they won’t listen to any of their juniors. I’ll just be wasting my time telling them this. At the end, I will suffer the consequences and put my job security and satisfaction on the line.”

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Are you living the life you want?

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By: Anja Uitdehaag

Some people know from an early age exactly what they want to be when they are adults — and how they can get there.

Others just drift along and let life happen to them. They have no specific objective in life; beyond the vague notion that they want to be happy.

Such a person will drift from one day to the next, without any sense of purpose or direction.

How much time do you spend thinking about the things you’re going to do one day? Do you initiate things in your life or do you just react? Do you feel that life is slipping by quicker than you would like? Have you ever experienced that restless, anxious feeling and weren’t sure what to do about it?

Every single one of us needs meaning!

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Lindsay’s In Business: PART 23: Breakthrough

carl jung2

What happens when you realise your path is entrepreneurship rather than employment? Lindsay takes up the challenge and shares an account of her journey as it unfolds…

Nothing tangible has actually changed over the past weeks, but things feel very different.

Here’s what’s been going on:

Firstly, a good, honest conversation with the leadership development company I’ve been collaborating with for the past 10 months or so, took place last week. We talked about roles and expectations – ironically an alignment meeting that was long overdue. Somehow, after travelling together, blindfold, on this journey to bring Mirror Mirror to life, this was the point to take stock and address some discomfort that had crept into the arrangement. With all of the experience within our core team about the importance of open-mindedness, trust and teamwork – we came out much better off.

The conversation made me think about the five key characteristics that block alignment:

  •  Assumptions

He never gives me any time to share my ideas – he’s obviously just not interested”

  •  Misunderstandings

But I thought you always wanted my team to comment on the technical aspects

  •  Unconscious biases

I think we need more data so we can be sure we’re making the right decisions

  •  Gaps in understanding

Every time we do this, we get the same complaints – but we don’t have a way to act on it”

  •  Social influences

If they’re not going to the meeting, I don’t think I should go either”

Thinking more about these, I made a short, animated slide show which – if I say it myself – has turned out pretty well. In fact, I think it NAILS the Mirror Mirror positioning – finally! Check it out on YouTube here.

At the same time, the work with the Global Electronic Company starts tomorrow – I have 14 people to interview and have been getting everything ready. And there are some good leads building in the pipeline. There was one call in particular with a global tech company at Anja’s place a couple of weeks ago (thank you for letting me take that call in your apartment, Anja!). The guy – who is quite a senior executive – was super positive. He said it was structured, practical, and unique. He was going to set up a call with his colleagues and talked about getting us on the suppliers list. I can tell you – that reaction gave me a high for the whole weekend!

That’s the kind of thing that really helps me believe that we will finish the Beta Testing phase by the end of the year, and that the business really has a promising future.

The bleak, dispiriting recent months of sales pursuits without the sweet taste of success is over. It’s almost the end of a whole year of Mirror Mirror now and things are getting on track.

This new summery month of June is turning out to be SUCH a different experience than the past few months were and my strength, energy and determination is back in spades.

Mirror Mirror allows teams to develop a shared picture of ‘where they are now’ so they have the clarity, alignment, and momentum needed to progress to ‘where they want to go next’. www.mirrormirrorhub.com

Your story, our platform: If you’ve got a story and would like to share it with other Femflectors, please let us know. Femflection is all about transferring learnings to help others, be they big or subtle. We want to connect with your feelings, your learnings, your reflections or your hopes for the future – in blog or interview format. Express yourself here. Get in touch with us via anja.uitdehaag@femflection.com

For more content visit our website http://www.femflection.com

I believe that the world could be a better place with art.

Selin-252x300.jpgFEMPROFILE

Kadriye Selin Kaçar was born in Rize, Turkey in 1965. She started her career in Law Consultancy. Currently, she is the owner of the D&S Art Gallery in Tuzla-Istanbul. She is preparing students for the entrance exams of fine arts faculties and in addition gives lessons to adults and children. Over the last two decades she had many domestic and international art exhibitions.

Who are you and what do you do?

I love nature and the colours associated with it – in particular spring and autumn; I think of spring as rebirth and autumn as peaceful rest – very much like life and death. I enjoy having a laugh on life and believe that the best form of protest is a smile. I truly enjoy reading, needless to say drawing and painting and whenever I get a chance I like to travel to places that I have not seen to date.

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Do you really need to ask?

The Blue Fairy – Pinocchio

By: Anja Uitdehaag

 American actress Doris Roberts once said:

“I think women are taught to ask permission about everything. We don’t realize that we are entitled and we do have a say in our lives.”

The behavior of seeking permission from others is ingrained in us from an early age. In childhood we are taught that we need to ask permission from someone else to do certain things. As a child this is appropriate, but as we grow up many of us hold onto that behavior and it does us more harm than good.

It is a common notion that men do not ask for permission. They ask forgiveness.

While we’re asking to be allowed to do something, our male colleagues may already be doing it.

It seems that women ask permission more out of habit than from really needing someone to give them the green light. It is a variation of asking questions to play it safe – but potentially more self-defeating.

By seeking permission before acting, you are less likely to be accused of making mistakes but you are also less likely to be viewed as a confident risk-taker.

Asking permission lowers your status to that of a child, i.e. someone who always needs to be afforded permission.

You also set yourself up to hear “no”.

For those women who are striving for flexibility to achieve for example a desired work/life balance, constantly asking permission can be a significant barrier to attaining it.

Rather than ask permission, you should inform others of your plans (“I just wanted to let you know I’ll be working from home tomorrow. I’ve got a delivery coming.”)

By informing others you show respect for their need to know, but without your action being contingent upon their approval.

If people have a problem with what you’re saying, they’ll let you know. You can then negotiate from a position of greater strength.

Constant permission seeking behaviors may limit your ability to achieve goals, build the career you want and live your life the way you want.

Don’t limit yourself. Stop effectively building your own career barriers.

Take the ball and run with it. Your boss will be grateful.

A challenge for you:

 “Ask for forgiveness, not permission” is an adage that reminds us that sometimes it is better to trust your instincts and judgment and take risks rather than seek the approval of someone else before taking action.

Do you dare to take a risk on something that you truly believe in even if it puts you out on a limb?

Your story, our platform: If you’ve got a story and would like to share it with other Femflectors, please let us know. Femflection is all about transferring learnings to help others, be they big or subtle. We want to connect with your feelings, your learnings, your reflections or your hopes for the future – in blog or interview format. Express yourself here. Get in touch with us via anja.uitdehaag@femflection.com

For more content visit our website http://www.femflection.com

Moving on

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By: Anja Uitdehaag

Earlier this week I finally managed to visit “Huys van Roosevelt” in Oud-Vossemeer, a small village in the Netherlands.

Huys van Roosevelt” is a restaurant that was on my to-do list already for over nine months.

Not because of the Rich history of both the village and the restaurant (The ancestors of the well-known former presidents of the USA, Theodore and Franklin Delano Roosevelt and his spouse Eleanor Roosevelt, are originally from Oud-Vossemeer. The rich history of these world leaders comes to life in the brasserie and restaurant through beautiful photos and inspiring quotes, the Roosevelt Information Center, the ‘The Four Freedoms’ monument, the Dutch Reformed Church and the place where the ancestors of the legendary world leaders used to live) but because I was eager to catch up with Bas, the restaurant owner. Bas is an ex-colleague from a big International Company, who made this very interesting career move from factory departmental manager to restaurant owner after the company closure 2 years ago.

I was curious to see how he was doing.

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