Monthly Archives: June 2016

“But… who am I?”

lewis carroll

Identity has been on my mind lately.

As one sociologist said: “Most people define themselves by their job. When they retire, they need a narrative about who they are now.”

It is very easy to confuse “What we do” with “who we are”.

Until some years ago I didn’t realize how much I drew upon my work as the source of my identity.

I struggled to find out how I can ensure the commitment to myself to living a significant life.

If we’re not careful, our essence and identity can become absorbed by all of our titles: wife, mother, friend, daughter, employee, coach.

The key to maintaining your balance of self and to become the most authentic version of yourself is simply focusing on what makes you happy by regularly checking in with yourself.

Analyze yourself; I mean truly analyze yourself – this is easier said than done. It takes courage and honesty. If you are ready to face yourself then start with some basics such as:

  • Who are you? Who do you actually want to become/be?
  • The gap between the two is “what is missing”
  • Make a concrete action plan to remove the gap
  • And even more important: Implement the action plan.

There is no need to “tough it out on your own.” Find a friend who is also interested in personal development and who won’t judge the struggle you are experiencing.

It is all within your reach. Success!

Anja Uitdehaag


When Office Politics Are At Odds With Your Personal Values

by River Ho Rathore

Just yesterday, I came across a Harvard Business Review article titled “Great Leaders Embrace Office Politics. Written by Michael Wenderoth, the article describes how, in the real world, our success is determined less by merit and more by perceptions and political skills. Michael’s writing is pragmatic and draws insights from top executives’ actual experiences, even his own. It also reminded me of the many warnings I have received about playing the office politics game. “It is there in every office. You cannot eliminate it, so you might as well play it,”  a number of colleagues, relatives and friends have told me so over the years. Continue reading

John Covington, “What I Learned About Leadership From My Dog”







Reviewed by Femflection

John Covington is CEO of Chesapeake Consulting. He is APICS certified as CPIM, has all TOCIOC disciplines and is a Jonah’s Jonah. Prior to founding Chesapeake he served industry in roles ranging from process engineer to vice president of operations. Continue reading


Femsy shares the office with Mansy, which is not easy for her. Mansy is often not greeting her in the morning, is not or hardly acknowledging her presence in the office, talks too loud on the telephone and is distracting Femsy from concentrating on her job by asking questions or making comments/jokes whenever it suits him.

(Click on the pictures to see them in full size) Continue reading

Everything isn’t about you

Elsa – Frozen

When something upsetting happens at work, a woman is more likely to take it personally than her male counterpart.

Most advice given for handling such a situation would be “It’s just business, don’t take it personally.”

For a long time this kind of advice used to make me even angrier. Not to take things personally? It was personal!

Today? – Though I’m far from being fully detached, I’ve come a long way compared to where I once was.

There’s nothing like growing up in a large competitive family and a global career in a male dominated environment to teach you how to not take things personally.

When you take things personally you give others more power over you than they ever should be allowed to have. You are allowing someone to question what you feel, believe and who you are. It keeps you tied to someone else and can even make you feel like a victim.

The biggest benefits of not taking things personally are self-awareness, self worth and clarity.

Knowing and truly feeling that only you can dictate whether or not you’re on track or whether or not you’re successful is a reward in and of it self.

As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.”

Anja Uitdehaag

Self Confidence: More Important Than You Think!

by Mine Batiyel

How do I define art? Art is a language and like any other language it is a vehicle of communication i.e. self-expression of ideas and most inner/deep feelings. Language is an important aspect of any culture and cultures tend by nature to limit one’s freedom in one way or another. Here is where art comes in – it provides freedom of expression without any limitation or boundaries and provides ample opportunity for imagination and creativity. It is hence highly therapeutic.

However, like in business life, in art we also go through the same ups and downs, the good days and the bad days, disappointing end results and great ones. The good old “competencies” of the business life will either ensure you pull through or you give up. Continue reading

Susan Cain, “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking”






Reviewed by Femflection

At least one-third of the people we know are introverts. If you aren’t one yourself, you work with one, or you’re the partner or parent of one.

Introverts prefer listening to speaking; innovate and create but dislike self-promotion and favor working on their own over working in teams.

Susan Cain, a former Wall Street lawyer, has been researching and writing about the subject for years. In “Quiet”, she looks at how our lives are shaped by personality. Continue reading

Don’t believe everything you think

by Anja Uitdehaag

A couple of weeks ago, we had a celebration dinner together with an ex-colleague. She got, in my opinion, a very well deserved promotion since she is incredibly smart, hardworking, and talented. I truly believe in her abilities and her values. I see it, I hear it and I feel it every time I talk to her.

I was surprised to hear that she doesn’t always feel the same.

She expressed the fear of being “found out” one day to be lacking the skills and intelligence she is perceived to have.

At the same time I felt like watching myself in a mirror. I also tend to diminish the significance of my achievements and attribute them to luck, a helping hand or other forces outside my control, rather than my own effort, dedication, and even intelligence. Continue reading

Robyn Benincasa, “How Winning Works: 8 Essential Leadership Lessons from the Toughest Teams on Earth”





Reviewed by Femflection

New York Times best-selling author and world champion adventure racer Robyn Benincasa accepts full responsibility for inspiring people to do insane things like climb Mount Kilimanjaro, run their first triathlon, start their own adventure racing teams, or launch their own businesses. After all, that is who she is and what she does: an adventurer who inspires people to do amazing things.

In her 15-year career as a professional adventure racer, Benincasa has competed in close to 40 expedition-length events – gnarly, multiday, multisport killers such as Primal Quest and Eco-Challenge. She has biked through jungles in Borneo, climbed Himalayan giants in Nepal, trekked across lava fields in Fiji, rafted rapids in Chile – and racked up multiple world championship titles along the way. In her spare time, she is a full-time firefighter in San Diego on the nation’s first all-female crew.

Her latest book, How Winning Works: 8 Essential Leadership Lessons from the Toughest Teams on Earth, hit the shelves in May 2012 and was quickly dubbed a New York Times bestseller. Continue reading