Tag Archives: Leadership

There is a difference between hard work and smart work that gets you noticed.

IMG_0052“Women lose sight of their goals by taking on extra responsibilities. We are virtual responsibility magnets. We don’t make these decisions consciously or deliberately but out of fear that if we don’t act on a need it will never get resolved. But we fail to realize that once we become responsible for something we might be responsible for it forever.”

This quote is from Pat Heim – the author of the no-nonsense book I highly recommend you to read: “Hardball for Women”

I have another quote for you. According to Pablo Picasso “There are only two types of women – goddesses and doormats”.

Let’s have a closer look at the differences:

Doormats:

  • Do whatever is asked of them
  • Tolerate mental and physical abuse
  • Believe it is their responsibility to care for others
  • Are disrespected
  • Never ask for anything for themselves
  • Can’t say no
  • Give others permission to walk on them

Goddesses:

  • Get others to do what they ask
  • Banish abusers from their presence
  • Believe it is the responsibility of others to care for them
  • Are worshipped
  • Feel entitled to get what they want
  • Won’t take no for an answer
  • Walk away from people who walk on them

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LIKED ENOUGH

IMG_0057Steve Jobs once said, “If you want to make everyone happy, don’t be a leader, sell ice cream”.

The qualities we tend to like in women (modesty, humility) are not the qualities that get professional recognition. Qualities we tend to like in men (self-confidence, assertiveness, asking directly for what you want) are the same qualities we uphold in the business world.

Caring too much about what others think of you stifles your ability to take risks and disrupts your social satisfaction. While you can’t control what other people think of you, you can control what you think of yourself and how you respond towards those who judge you.

People you work with do not need to like you.

People you work with need to respect you.

Strong leaders treat everyone well, but their actions are focused on the organization’s mission, vision, and goals rather than getting everyone to like them.

Be comfortable with the fact that not everyone will like you at work, in your neighborhood, and in your community activities; they never will.

Jesus, Gandhi, and Mother Teresa weren’t liked by everyone. So how can you and I possibly expect to attain 100% adoration? If we try to achieve that, we’ll bend and flex so much no one will know what we stand for – including ourselves. Be true to yourself and your values. It’s important that YOU like yourself and what you stand for. When that happens, others will stand with you.

Liz Weber

Your story, our platform: If you’ve got a story and would like to share it with other Femflectors, please let us know. Femflection is all about transferring learnings to help others, be they big or subtle. We want to connect with your feelings, your learnings, your reflections or your hopes for the future – in blog or interview format. Express yourself here. Get in touch with us via anja.uitdehaag@femflection.com

For more content visit our website http://www.femflection.com

ARE YOU LISTENING? ARE YOU CONNECTING?

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By: Anja Uitdehaag

 “Everyone you meet has something to teach you.”  – unknown

Everybody networks. Whether your networking is done on a personal or professional level, the goal is the same: to cultivate and maintain mutually beneficial relationships with a mix of people with whom you can share ideas and knowledge.

In business, we all know we need to network more but so few of us take the time to get out there and make ourselves known to the community. I believe this is for a few reasons:

  • People don’t like doing things outside their “comfort zone”
  • We tell ourselves we’re too busy
  • We ask ourselves “what’s in it for me?”

The truth is you only get out of it what you put into it…

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I wish I had just done the job myself….

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By: Anja Uitdehaag

Sometimes I really believe that if I want something done right, I must do it myself.

Do you recognize this?

As women, we’re not naturals at delegating.

For many women, “delegating” equals asking for help because we are not able to do something, when for most men it means a sign of leadership.

Most of us, still feel this need to show that we are able to do everything ourselves to avoid being perceived as weak.

Furthermore, we tend to slip into the responsibility mode all too easily.

No one, however, can do everything, and to attempt to do so usually results in incomplete tasks or poor execution (there are only so many hours in a day…)

Successful women do not do it all themselves, they learn to delegate.

Delegating to others is not only helpful, it’s crucial to your success. As you advance in your career and begin taking on larger and larger projects, you won’t be able to juggle all of your responsibilities and keep up with a high standard of work, too.

Sharing tasks allows you to focus on the things that you need and want to do, rather than extra work that just needs to get done.

When done properly, delegation allows you to make the best use of your time and skills, and it helps other people in the team grow and develop to reach their full potential in the organisation.

I like the following definition:

“Delegation is assigning responsibility and authority to someone in order to complete a clearly defined and agreed upon task while you retain ultimate responsibility for its success.”

When you delegate it is important to use the following steps:

STEP 1: Clarify expectations by sharing exactly who, what, when, where, and how you would like something to be done. Clear and precise expectations will eliminate assumptions and misunderstandings;

STEP 2: Ask questions to make sure the team member understands your expectations;

STEP 3: If it will take more than two steps, write them down in bullet points. Often times the team member will stop listening after a couple of steps because they start thinking about how they will accomplish the task or how they will work it into their day;

STEP 4: If it is a large project, schedule a check-in time(s) for the person to keep you updated on his or her progress. This will also enable you to give the person ongoing support and answer any questions that may arise;

STEP 5: Establish and agree on a realistic goal date to complete the task, and schedule a final check-in and update that the task has been completed;

STEP 6: Show your appreciation by thanking the person for a job well done!

Let me summarise with some Key Takeaways:

  • Delegating is part of a manager’s job. You can’t do it all;
  • Surrounding yourself with good people makes delegating work easier;
  • Understanding the skills and motivation levels of your team helps you decide how to manage the delegation of tasks;
  • You should always follow up so that no work is overlooked.

 

Your story, our platform: If you’ve got a story and would like to share it with other Femflectors, please let us know. Femflection is all about transferring learnings to help others, be they big or subtle. We want to connect with your feelings, your learnings, your reflections or your hopes for the future – in blog or interview format. Express yourself here. Get in touch with us via anja.uitdehaag@femflection.com

For more content visit our website http://www.femflection.com

The world of opportunities is waiting. Reach out to select yours

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Anna Zubytska is Sales Director of Danone Dairy in Ukraine. She holds EMBA degree from Central European University and has 17 years of leadership and business management experience developed in multinational FMCG environment in Europe. In her today’s interview, Anna speaks about her approach to individual development and life in general, which helps her to keep learning, growing, discovering and having fun J

 

Life motto

So far, my live and personal growth has been advancing this way due to my belief, that the outer world is full of opportunities. Seeing the world big allows us growing and gaining new experiences, insights, enriching our lives with joy, satisfaction and new levels of mastery.

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Man, I feel like a Woman

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By: Joan van den Brink

Eleanor Roosevelt was the wife of President, Franklin Delano Roosevelt and a stateswoman in her own right. She was a strong-minded and courageous leader who followed her ‘True North’ to campaign for and champion causes that transformed the lives of many disadvantaged Americans.  Once her husband’s political career took off she blossomed as an independent thinker and became a strong advocate for social reform to better the lives of the underprivileged.  She revolutionized the role of First Lady by constantly acting in ways that were new to the position: holding regular press conferences, writing a daily newspaper column, publishing books and articles, travelling the nation on speaking tours, chairing national conferences in the White House, addressing national conventions of social reform organizations, giving a keynote address at her party’s presidential convention, representing her nation abroad, travelling battlefields, and directing a government agency.  She played a critical role in the creation of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights by skillfully creating an atmosphere that permitted the blending of ideas and norms of different cultures together into a document that nations around the globe could assent to while marshaling U.S. support for swift passage of the declaration.   In short, she was an authentic leader.

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Hermina Ibarra, “Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader”

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Herminia Ibarra is a professor of Leadership and Learning, the Chair of the Organizational Behavior department, and the founding director of “The Leadership Transition” executive education program at INSEAD. She is a member of the World Economic Forum Global Agenda Council, and consults with a wide variety of companies around the world in the areas of leadership development and talent management, with a special focus on women and leadership.

Some “ACT LIKE A LEADER, THINK LIKE A LEADER” Quotes: Continue reading

Situation 36: Female Leadership Mentoring

Femsy admits that self-confidence remains an issue for her. She sometimes finds it tough to operate in a macho environment. Furthermore she feels she does not have a strong network. She agrees with boss to find a third party mentor.

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Pat Heim, Tammy Hughes and Susan K. Golant, “Hardball for Women: Winning at the Game of Business”

41k69z4ujnlReviewed by Femflection

The authors of “Hardball for women” share their insights into gender differences in the workplace and offer suggestions on how women can soar in male-dominated environments.

It teaches women to use the unwritten rules of business to get ahead in their careers.

The game of business is hardball, played according to the rules of the male culture. The book explains the different behaviors and mind-sets boys and girls learn and carry into their lives as adult men and women. For example, boys learn to compete; girls learn to get along.

Some “Hardball for Women” quotes:

  • “Before negotiating a raise, start collecting a file of evidence, showing how you have impacted the bottom line… Don’t believe there is no money in the budget. Don’t assume your boss knows how great you’ve been doing. Don’t threaten to leave – you may be given the opportunity.”
  • “Actually power is like money; neither good nor bad. Its negative or positive spin depends upon how we use it.”
  • “Simply stated power is the ability to get things done.”
  • “I Strongly urge you to consciously consider what success means to you. Instead of allowing others or society to determine when you win, you determine it.”
  • “Whether you’re moving to a new company or a new department within your current organization, I believe you’ll end up miles ahead if you shop for a boss, not a position. You may secure the greatest job in the world, but a miserable boss will turn gold into ashes…. In many ways, your boss maybe more important than the job.”
  • “Women lose sight of their goals by taking on extra responsibilities. We are virtual responsibility magnets. We don’t make these decisions consciously or deliberately but out of fear that if we don’t act on a need it will never get resolved. But we fail to realize that once we become responsible for something we might be responsible for it forever.”
  • “Studies have shown that the terms girl and lady have pejorative connotations: They conjure images of someone weaker and lazier; someone more nervous, afraid, dependent, immature, and inconsiderate; someone less sexy, intelligent, and certainly less charismatic than ‘woman.’ Indeed, the term woman is overwhelmingly interpreted as more favorable and is most often used to describe adult females who deserve respect.”
  • “Leadership doesn’t mean giving marching orders that others must follow blindly. Rather, it means causing others to want to follow. Successful leadership is personal.”

“Hardball for Women” – the book:

Each chapter begins with a summary of the hardball lessons boys learn and the house-and-doll lessons girls learn. It concludes with key pointers for playing hardball successfully. Concepts are illustrated with compelling real-life examples.

This constructive, straightforward and no-nonsense guide deals with how and why the two genders are different, how to make the best of one’s assets and how to be forceful without being cruel or overly aggressive.

It also addresses the issues of being a team player or a leader, using language and non-verbal cues powerfully, and setting goals and staying focused. Staying focused is especially important for women since women tend to back off and lose when others become aggressive.

Most of my career, I’ve worked in male-dominated fields.

Biggest take away for me from the book was that I can truly do something to place myself on equal standing with both men and women in the workplace. It all depends on knowing the rules of the game and find out how to navigate them effectively.

A while ago I took my 20 years old “Hardball for Women” edition down from the shelf and loaned it to one of my female friends who had issues with her male boss. She recognized herself very well in the description of the gender issues and they were so much applicable to her own situation that she bought her own 2015 edited copy.

If you have a career in any workplace – and it does not need to be a mostly male workplace – this book provides invaluable advice.

At the same time, it offers men considerable insight into the strengths and contributions of the female culture.

I highly recommend “Hardball for Women” to any woman who works.

Your story, our platform: If you’ve got a story and would like to share it with other Femflectors, please let us know. Femflection is all about transferring learnings to help others, be they big or subtle. We want to connect with your feelings, your learnings, your reflections or your hopes for the future – in blog or interview format. Express yourself here. Get in touch with us via anja.uitdehaag@femflection.com

For more content visit our website http://www.femflection.com

OFFICE HOUSE-WORK

By: Anja Uitdehaag

In her book “Lean In”, Sheryl Sandberg talks about “office housework”, administrative tasks that help but don’t pay off. Women are often expected to take care of such tasks, bringing in the cakes for a birthday, making coffee, training and mentoring junior staff or taking notes during a meeting.

Women often step up for such tasks because they fear that saying no will get them branded as a non team player.

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