Tag Archives: working life

Get an attitude

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I tried to be a boy

I tried to be a girl

I tried to be a mess

I tried to be the best

I guess I got it wrong

(Madonna)

The person we bully the most is ourselves. This already starts at the age of six! We are in the midst of a self bullying epidemic.

Most of us are unaware that the self sabotaging actions we take, the negative thoughts we think and the pressure we feel is coming from ourselves. Do you sometimes get down on yourself for not measuring up to the expectations you or others have for your body, career, children, finances or relationships? Do you feel you are not accomplishing enough, no matter how? Do you play it safe and small? Do you feel like the whole world is on your shoulders? Do you feel never good enough – always average?

I have never met an average woman. Not a single one!

What I have met though, is too many women who thought they were average; who felt they were ordinary because some one, or many some-ones, taught them they were.

Self sabotage block your success by working against your own self interests.

The only limits that you face are the limits of your own ambition, talent and dedication. Acknowledge yourself. Appreciate yourself. See yourself through a more honest, more realistic lens.

Get an attitude!

Your story, our platform: If you’ve got a story and would like to share it with other Femflectors, please let us know. Femflection is all about transferring learnings to help others, be they big or subtle. We want to connect with your feelings, your learnings, your reflections or your hopes for the future – in blog or interview format. Express yourself here. Get in touch with us via anja.uitdehaag@femflection.com

For more content visit our website http://www.femflection.com

 

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Lindsay’s In Business: PART 56. Is history repeating itself? 

think outside of the box

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What happens when you realise your path is entrepreneurship rather than employment? Lindsay takes up the challenge and shares an account of her journey as it unfolds… 

Here’s how I see the journey has gone so far:

I launched a business selling a new approachto team communications / team effectiveness. The market is awash with stuff like this, but the process I have is, dare I say, revolutionary. It took a while to find a way to articulate and present the concept, and reactions in general have been positive. Within 14 months of trading, I got 3 great case studies and the process was all up and running.

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Lateral job move

massBy: Angie Falls

Since I am already six year with the current company I decided to make a lateral job change within my organization to gain experience and to increase the potential for advancement. Often I am being asked maybe its time to move on. You have been already so long with the company. A way too traditional mindset. I am all for thinking out of the box and exploring new ideas and different mindsets.  A job in a different department offers greater responsibilities and challenges. I can stay at the same location and be transferred laterally in another area. I choose this path instead of moving on and search for a challenge in a new company.

Reflecting on this choice makes me more determined to invest in this new function. I get the opportunity to learn new disciplines in the same branch. It gives me a new perspective with my current 20 years experience. When you have spend 2 decades in a specific discipline you develop skills which extends beyond the technical knowledge. Due to globalization and fast paced technological progress  It is more and more evident that soft skills need to be enriched along the way. One of the most important soft skill is the ability to see from another perspective than your own. Empathy is a skill to be strongly illuminated. It offers us a chance to gain insight in a topic or situation from another angle. If excersized from different angles this skill will enable us to make profound decissions. Self reflection another essential soft skill which if not possesed will restrain you. The lack of these skills can decrease employee productivity. Which soft skill are desired by companies depends on the cultural fit. In my opinion ownership is one of the soft skills which I feel the majority needs to focus on. Once I got the advice which sounds like this. In your profession you are the CEO of something whatever you’re responsible for.

Taking ownership of your work means assuming responsibility for helping the organization as a whole to succeed. I invest in the outcomes of my work, implementing ways to do things better and holding myself accountable when there is a negative outcome. I analyze, find solutions and perform on those solutions. This also gives me pride in my work and energizes me. Too often I meet people who do not enjoy their profession. Have lost passion in what they do or didn’t have the passion in the beginning. When the foundation is not solid how can we expect it will flourish. There was no ground to start with.

One of my personal challenges is my strong assertive personality. Too much assertiveness can become domineering. I am working on polite assertiveness. It helps addressing problems calmly and forthrightly and not shying away from difficult or cumbersome conversations.

To conclude my favorite list of soft skills;

  • Emotional Intelligence
  • Ownership
  • Staying Calm
  • Openness to Feedback
  • Polite Assertiveness
  • Decency
  • Integrity

Putting effort on a daily basis to develop and operate based on this soft skill set.

Your story, our platform: If you’ve got a story and would like to share it with other Femflectors, please let us know. Femflection is all about transferring learnings to help others, be they big or subtle. We want to connect with your feelings, your learnings, your reflections or your hopes for the future – in blog or interview format. Express yourself here. Get in touch with us via anja.uitdehaag@femflection.com

For more content visit our website http://www.femflection.com

 

STOICISM

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By: Angie Falls

Once in a while my attention is attracted by icons in history. I strongly believe that there is always a lesson to be learned. Currently I am fascinated by Marcus Aurelius.

He was the last of the so-called FiveGoodEmperors.

He was a practitioner of Stoicism, and his untitled writing, commonly known as Meditations, is a significant source of the modern understanding of ancient Stoic philosophy.

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Be proactive!

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It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan

Eleanor Roosevelt

Way too often we see women in the workplace keep their heads down, deliver more than what is expected and wait for someone to notice. They don’t get the things they want, the success they have earned or the respect they deserve.

Don’t wait for things to happen, make them happen. Taking personal responsibility means accepting that you, and only you, are in charge of your own destiny.

One of the keys to professional success is your ability to let others know who you are, what you have to offer and how you can make a difference.

Your career is totally your responsibility. It is up to you to do appropriate career planning and to take the necessary steps, i.e. obtaining the education and training that will support your career plans, changing job every 3-5 years, seeking advice from mentors, asking for specific and timely feedback, raising your hand for high profile assignments and building strong, supportive networks.

Women who professionally succeed take control of their lives. They don’t believe they are owed anything. They speak up and put themselves forward. If, after using their best efforts, they still don’t get what they believe they’re due, they move on.

Your story, our platform: If you’ve got a story and would like to share it with other Femflectors, please let us know. Femflection is all about transferring learnings to help others, be they big or subtle. We want to connect with your feelings, your learnings, your reflections or your hopes for the future – in blog or interview format. Express yourself here. Get in touch with us via anja.uitdehaag@femflection.com

For more content visit our website http://www.femflection.com

WELL DONE!

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Accepting a compliment gracefully is a challenge for many women. Somehow we have been socialised to believe there is shame in feeling good about ourselves. Such a pity!

Our biggest fear is that, by accepting the compliment we will appear arrogant.

However, when you downplay a compliment, you may feel you are showing humility,  but you may make the person who gave the compliment feel personally rejected.

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Does your introduction reinforce your brand?

 

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There are some conflicting views about whether women should minimize the use of weak language; words such as ‘just’.  A few years ago Ellen Petry Leanse, former exec at Google and Apple (https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/just-say-ellen-petry-leanse) noticed that women use the word ‘just’ frequently in emails, conversations and emails.  She felt that this was a ‘permission’ word that put the other party in a position of authority and control.  Shane Ferro, writing in Business Insider (http://tinyurl.com/zkjutoy), disputes Leanses’s claims saying that women should not have to self-regulate everything that they are saying since this in itself undermines their confidence.

Whatever your natural communication style, it is important to ooze confidence, so consider how you introduce yourself. What impression do you want to make? What do you want them to say and think about you?  Do you stand up straight, look people in the eye and shake their hands warmly but firmly?

Learning suggestions:

  • Think about what you want your reputation to be. What behaviours will reinforce this brand?  Make sure that you look and act the part.  For example, if you want to be promoted take actions that demonstrate that you are capable of operating at that level and people will start visualizing you there.
  • Before meeting new people rehearse your introduction. Reflect on both your career and personal life and think about the things that you want to emphasize.  What language conveys what you want to say best? Practise saying this out loud until you feel comfortable and sound fluent.
  • Listen to how other people introduce and present themselves. What words do they use?  How do they sound – confident or shy?  Which people do you take more notice of?  Why?  Try to incorporate these lessons into your own style.
  • Practise introducing other people. What information do you need to know?  What seems important to them and to you?  How can you convey who they are in a succinct way?
  • See meeting new people as an opportunity to build your external network and build valuable connections and relationships with interesting people.

Your story, our platform: If you’ve got a story and would like to share it with other Femflectors, please let us know. Femflection is all about transferring learnings to help others, be they big or subtle. We want to connect with your feelings, your learnings, your reflections or your hopes for the future – in blog or interview format. Express yourself here. Get in touch with us via anja.uitdehaag@femflection.com

For more content visit our website http://www.femflection.com