D I S C O V E R I N G ・ W H O ・ A N D ・ W H A T ・ W E ・ A R E

SigmundBy: Angie Falls

Having a fulltime job and 3 freelance assignments can be burdening. I start to doubt myself. Am I heading in the right direction? Is it correct the way I am engaged to get some fulfilling work done? Or am I just afraid to jump? Jump to the unknown. To determine whether I am on the right track I decided to pursue sessions with a psychologist.

Psychoanalysis is worth trying for personal growth on a personal and professional level.

On my quest for self-development and positive health, I had my first intake with the psychologist. Afterwards, I even read an article named in therapy? In Argentina, it’s the norm by Elizabeth Landau. I even feel proud to have taken this step. In the end, the major source of information is your own experience, insights and work with the person in question, plus discussions in a limited set of journals.

Psychoanalysis, founded by Sigmund Freud in the 19th century, makes use of fantasies, dreams, and free association speech to uncover repressed ideas in the unconscious and helps us to gain new insights into our emotions and experiences. During my first session, I had to introduce myself what went very well. The second session was surprising for me since I found out what really bothers me in my professional life. It turned out that I am seeking for an acknowledgment for my work from people who I believe need to learn a few things about themselves and are not capable enough to make judgments about my tasks and duties. This is frustrating since I depend on them through their functions. So, the only way for me to know whether I am handling properly is to have a better understanding of myself. Then I can become more confident. This will make me strong and it will enable me to stand up to people and situations.

During a video training about how to deal with negative people, I learned that I am ego driven. This is my ‘Chief Feature’ meaning character flaw. It is labeled as a defensive and potentially destructive pattern of thinking, feeling and acting. I could identify and handle this dominant negative attitude in my personal growth. If a situation occurs where this feature is influencing me I question myself and make the positive decisions to overcome this.

I acknowledged my chief feature and when it shows up in my life, I recognize what fears run me, and I then have the opportunity to make a new choice.

There is a one-liner which stayed with me when I read another article named How To Find Out Who You Really Are by Anne Lamott.

You should make mistakes to find out who you aren’t. You take the action, and the insight follows: You don’t think your way into becoming yourself.

Every single day I try to figure out something I would like to do or to read. Especially the reading part I like. This is when I have my best ideas, my deepest insights. I realize that life is what you make of it and that your own mindset determines how you perceive life.

Your story, our platform: If you’ve got a story and would like to share it with other Femflectors, please let us know. Femflection is all about transferring learnings to help others, be they big or subtle. We want to connect with your feelings, your learnings, your reflections or your hopes for the future – in blog or interview format. Express yourself here. Get in touch with us via anja.uitdehaag@femflection.com

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