Situation 8: IN CONTROL

The weekly team meeting is not going as smooth as Femsy would like it to be. Femsy stands her ground.

(Click on the pictures to see them in full size)

A great leader:

  • Is self confident and has a strong sense of self;
  • Sets and communicates clear (behavioural) standards;
  • Makes sure that team members understand what is expected from them;
  • Manages pushback without getting emotional or frustrated;
  • Acts decisively in difficult situations.

How to best handle the situation:

Leading involves keeping your eye on the goal, setting common objectives, dealing with resistance, managing your emotions, being a role model and getting others to believe in where you’re headed. It requires a strong self-awareness and a lot of self-confidence.

Leading puts you in the limelight. Don’t let criticism prevent you from taking the lead or a stand. People will always say it should have been done differently anyway.

Learning suggestions:

  • Make sure your team members understand what is expected from them. Set and communicate clear standards;
  • Your emotional reactions might make others think that you have issues with tough leadership situations. Learn to recognize and control your emotions. Instead of immediately reacting, ask questions or invite a person to tell you more about his/her point of view;
  • Look and sound like a leader. This requires a strong voice, eye contact, self-confidence and a strong presence. A lot of leadership presence has to do with forceful presentation skills. Take a workshop that is using video taping;
  • If you know you’re right then take a stand. In case you are wrong, which happens to all great leaders sometimes, accept personal responsibility for errors, admit it and move on;
  • Tips for staying in control in meetings:
    • Send a meeting agenda in advance;
    • Nail the introduction of every topic. Be very specific by ensuring that every meeting participant knows exactly what you want to talk about and “what is in it” for him/her;
    • Allot specific amounts of time to agenda topics;
    • Manage pushback, bring people back on track and cut people off if needed;
    • Nail the closure of every topic with SMART action points, decisions and/or conclusions.
  • Leaders are readers. Interesting books which could address your specific needs are for example:
    • “Emotional Intelligence 2.0” by Travis Bradberry & Jean Graves;
    • “Power Talk” by Sarah Myers McGinty;
    • “Leadership, the Power of Emotional Intelligence” by Daniel Goleman;
    • “Act like a Leader, Think like a Leader” by Hermina Ibarra.


Leadership requires presence. Would I pick you as a leader if I met you for the first time during an office gathering? What makes you the leader?

Femcommunity tips:

We welcome your thoughts, experiences and comments on how you would deal with such a situation.


Read more about Co-Colours and Co-Colours Team.


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