Tag Archives: giving & receiving support

Lindsay’s In Business: PART 59: Success and stress

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What happens when you realise your path is entrepreneurship rather than employment? Lindsay takes up the challenge and shares an account of her journey as it unfolds…

Did I tell you that my goal for 2018 was to sell Mirror Mirror six times? I promised myself that if I didn’t achieve that goal, I should review the feasibility of the business (although it would take a lot more than a few sales short to quit).

The last time I posted a blog with Femflections, there had been 2 sales for 2018. Now it looks like there could be 7!  When I say a ‘sale’ it doesn’t have to be delivered within 2018, but it does look like a few more might be, even though it’s November already. That’s incredible! What a boost.

I need to tell you all about it…

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It takes a strong person to admit when help is needed!

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By: Anja Uitdehaag

Brene Brown has found through her research that women tend to feel shame around the idea of being ‘never enough’… at home, at work, in bed, never pretty enough, never smart enough, never thin enough, never good enough…

Men tend to feel shame around the fear of being perceived as weak, or more academically, ‘fear of being called a pussy’.

Both sexes get trapped in the same box for different reasons.

If I ask for help…
I am not enough.

If I ask for help…
I’m weak.

It’s no wonder so many of us don’t bother to ask, it’s too painful.” 

Amanda Palmer

I pride myself on being independent and doing things my own way.

My whole life I’ve been a person who thought I was being strong by doing everything on my own, even if it meant doing it with struggle.

For me “I can do it myself!” is somehow a much more instinctual reaction than “thank you”.

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How do you know when you need a coach?

There’s a fine line between ‘I’m not having a good day, I’ll be ok tomorrow’ and ‘I don’t think I can meet my goals without expert guidance’. Knowing at what point to seek professional support through the help of a coach is crucial.

Coaching is for those who recognise they have wandered off their path and need to realign themselves again – be it in business, life or relationships. It is not counselling, mentoring, therapy or training. What a coach does is listen to your aspirations and goals, recognise the obstacles that are standing in your way, and provide actionable solutions to enable you to fulfil your ambitions in a measurable, simple and successful way.

Seeking a coach demonstrates that you wish to improve and that you recognise that you need an expert to guide you. Every great sports person has a coach to thank for pushing them, motivating them, encouraging them and supporting them in their journey…life and business coaches do exactly that too.

So how do you know when you need a coach?

According to Alexis Meads, there are ten tell-tale signs that you need a coach in your life.

1. Your friends and family are tired of listening to you

It’s wonderful to have a support network around you, but don’t exhaust your friend’s kindness by going over the same thing every time you meet them. A coach is a professional listener who isn’t worried about telling you how it is – but not only will they listen, they will also give you a concrete plan to follow in order to overcome the struggles you are facing.

2. You over-analyze everything

There is such a thing as over-thinking things and if your mind is full of questions and no answers then it’s time to seek professional help from someone that can untangle the tangled knot of questions inside your mind.

3. Your relationship problems are making you ill

Mental strain has a physical affect on the body. If you aren’t happy with your relationship then you need to find a way to handle that – and ignoring it or repeating the same mistakes won’t help. Through the help of a coach you can find clarity and confidence again.

4. You’re not happy with your weight

Health and life coaches can advise on weight loss, fitness, nutrition and exercise plans but most of all they can give you the motivation you need to stick to your plan and reach your goals. Everyone knows that having someone by your side when trying to get fit is easier than going at it alone!

5. You’ve lost your identity

Whether you’ve recently moved abroad, had children, changed as you’ve got older or inexplicably lost confidence – coaching can help you feel like the old you again. Or alternatively, help you reinvent a new happier and more positive you.

6. You have Imposter Syndrome

On the outside you’re rocking it, but on the inside you’re crippled with self doubt, insecurity, worry and anxiety. A good coach can alleviate that stress and empower you with the skills to feel just as good on the inside as people believe you are on the outside.

7. You’re not at the point in your career you thought you would be

It’s nobody’s fault but yours, but you don’t know where you’re going wrong. Do you lack confidence to seek alternative employment? Or do you need to improve on your leadership skills and communication techniques? Our coaches will recognise the obstacles standing in the way of your success and give you the tools to ensure that you reach your career goals.

8. You’re stuck

Your life is in a rut. You’re bored. You’re wondering if there’s anything else out there for you or if this monotonous treadmill you call life is as good as it gets. Don’t worry, it can always get better, you just need a push in the right direction by a life coach that will understand your concerns and show you the light.

9. You have no social life

It’s not just the work and family life balance that a coach can help you wish, they can also assist with helping you find the all important ‘me’ time. Hobbies, mindfulness, interests and fun are just as important as family and earning a wage.

10. You worry about what others think

This is all too common in an age of over-sharing, but this form of thinking can be paralysing and in the long term affect all areas of your life. In order to reach your goals you need to be confident, fearless and positive. Coaching can help you value your self worth while providing ways for you to protect yourself from the opinions of others.

So if any of these points sound like you then you may benefit from coaching. Coaching is not a last resort, far from it. Coaching is a way of reigniting that internal spark that makes you want to be a better you. So get over your first obstacle and get in touch – we may just change your life.

 

Visit Koach.net to discover how our coaches can help you find clarity at work and at home, and can lead you to a more successful and fulfilled you.

Your story, our platform: If you’ve got a story and would like to share it with other Femflectors, please let us know. Femflection is all about transferring learnings to help others, be they big or subtle. We want to connect with your feelings, your learnings, your reflections or your hopes for the future – in blog or interview format. Express yourself here. Get in touch with us via anja.uitdehaag@femflection.com

For more content visit our website http://www.femflection.com

ACCEPTING SUPPORT FROM OTHERS

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By: Anja Uitdehaag

I’ve been uncomfortable receiving and asking for help as long as I can remember.

My whole life I’ve been a person who thought I was being strong by doing everything on my own, even if it meant doing it with struggle.

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