Tag Archives: Habits

Are You Winning The E-mail Battle?

by Tarek Beram

How do other people organize their working lives? Did you ever wonder about that? I mean, how do others manage the endless flow of incoming emails and on-going flow of things to do? In the time of apps and after the arrival of the cloud, how does a modern person stay in control of own time and efforts? I believe most people get so used to the way they operate they don’t stop to consider alternatives.

Messaging is still dominating the business live. Then electronic calendar is the norm now. Then you have your own thoughts and ideas that you want to do something about. Then comes up the tasks or errands as a result of discussions or interactions. It’s a vortex of to-dos that you choose to spend time and effort on and either you’re on top of the vortex or you’re not. Continue reading

Situation 15: OFFICE RUDENESS

Femsy shares the office with Mansy, which is not easy for her. Mansy is often not greeting her in the morning, is not or hardly acknowledging her presence in the office, talks too loud on the telephone and is distracting Femsy from concentrating on her job by asking questions or making comments/jokes whenever it suits him.

(Click on the pictures to see them in full size) Continue reading

Everything isn’t about you

Elsa – Frozen

When something upsetting happens at work, a woman is more likely to take it personally than her male counterpart.

Most advice given for handling such a situation would be “It’s just business, don’t take it personally.”

For a long time this kind of advice used to make me even angrier. Not to take things personally? It was personal!

Today? – Though I’m far from being fully detached, I’ve come a long way compared to where I once was.

There’s nothing like growing up in a large competitive family and a global career in a male dominated environment to teach you how to not take things personally.

When you take things personally you give others more power over you than they ever should be allowed to have. You are allowing someone to question what you feel, believe and who you are. It keeps you tied to someone else and can even make you feel like a victim.

The biggest benefits of not taking things personally are self-awareness, self worth and clarity.

Knowing and truly feeling that only you can dictate whether or not you’re on track or whether or not you’re successful is a reward in and of it self.

As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.”

Anja Uitdehaag

Robyn Benincasa, “How Winning Works: 8 Essential Leadership Lessons from the Toughest Teams on Earth”

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Reviewed by Femflection

New York Times best-selling author and world champion adventure racer Robyn Benincasa accepts full responsibility for inspiring people to do insane things like climb Mount Kilimanjaro, run their first triathlon, start their own adventure racing teams, or launch their own businesses. After all, that is who she is and what she does: an adventurer who inspires people to do amazing things.

In her 15-year career as a professional adventure racer, Benincasa has competed in close to 40 expedition-length events – gnarly, multiday, multisport killers such as Primal Quest and Eco-Challenge. She has biked through jungles in Borneo, climbed Himalayan giants in Nepal, trekked across lava fields in Fiji, rafted rapids in Chile – and racked up multiple world championship titles along the way. In her spare time, she is a full-time firefighter in San Diego on the nation’s first all-female crew.

Her latest book, How Winning Works: 8 Essential Leadership Lessons from the Toughest Teams on Earth, hit the shelves in May 2012 and was quickly dubbed a New York Times bestseller. Continue reading

Phyllis Chesler, “Woman’s Inhumanity to Woman”

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Reviewed by Femflection

Phyllis Chesler (born October 1, 1940) is an American writer, psychotherapist, and professor emerita of psychology and women’s studies at the College of Staten Island (CUNY). She is known as a feminist psychologist, and is the author of 16 books, including the best-seller Women and Madness (1972). Chesler has written on topics such as gender, mental illness, divorce and child custody, surrogacy, second-wave feminism, pornography, prostitution, incest, and violence against women. Continue reading

SORRY!

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According to a 2010 study in the journal Psychological Science, “women have a lower threshold for what constitutes offensive behavior,” and hence are more likely to see a need for an apology in everyday situations.

Women apologize more, and they seem to do so to be compliant and empathetic.

Should women “man up?”

Could apologizing be holding women back at work?

View one:

  • “Excuse me, may I ask…”
  • “I might be wrong, but …”
  • “I don’t know, but…”

Phrases like the above litter your speech, and each time you use one, you weaken your own voice. When you say what you mean in a direct, straightforward manner, you’ll be heard, understood and respected.

Knowing how to communicate with confidence sends the message that you are self-assured, proud of your skills, and comfortable in expressing your ideas.

When you stop saying sorry, you allow yourself to grow into the most confident version of yourself.

View two:

Ann Friedman believes it’s up to society to change the sorry game and wrote a story that followed Crosley’s, aptly titled, “Can We Just, Like, Get Over the Way Women Talk?”. She believes women shouldn’t be forced to “question [their] voice.” If all women were to change their speech patterns to fit a prescribed, “powerful” norm, our cadence “would lose the casual, friendly tone we wanted it to have and its special feeling of intimacy…it wouldn’t be ours anymore.”

My view:

There is power in empathy. Apologizing isn’t what keeps women out of high-powered jobs they deserve. It’s not the “sorry” that’s the problem. It’s the sexism.

Anja Uitdehaag