Category Archives: Femthoughts

“Give, give, get.”

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A full 70% of jobs are found through networking, and 40% of job seekers say they found their dream job through a personal connection.

So, building a strong network of connections is crucial to career success.

Build your network way before you need it.

Make networking a part of your everyday routine, rather than relying on it only when you are desperate.

There are always new people to meet and relationships to deepen.

Give before you take!

A “How can I help you?”- attitude builds trust into any relationship. It shows you care about a person and that you are backing your caring up with concrete action.

As Adam Grant, professor at Wharton and author of Give and Take has found, the people who give more than they take go further and experience more success.

Your story, our platform: If you’ve got a story and would like to share it with other Femflectors, please let us know. Femflection is all about transferring learnings to help others, be they big or subtle. We want to connect with your feelings, your learnings, your reflections or your hopes for the future – in blog or interview format. Express yourself here. Get in touch with us via anja.uitdehaag@femflection.com

For more content visit our website http://www.femflection.com

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OFFICE HOUSE-WORK

By: Anja Uitdehaag

In her book “Lean In”, Sheryl Sandberg talks about “office housework”, administrative tasks that help but don’t pay off. Women are often expected to take care of such tasks, bringing in the cakes for a birthday, making coffee, training and mentoring junior staff or taking notes during a meeting.

Women often step up for such tasks because they fear that saying no will get them branded as a non team player.

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A NEW YEAR

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Live your own life!

 “You were put on this earth to achieve your greatest self, to live out your purpose, and to do it courageously.” – Steve Maraboli

365 New Days – 365 New Chances.

What the New Year brings to you will depend a great deal on what you bring to the New Year.

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UNDERSTANDING MYSELF

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by Anja Uitdehaag

“The more you know yourself, the more patience you have for what you see in others.” – Erikson

 It is very easy to confuse “What we do” with “who we are”.

When I was younger, I associated job title and fitting into a group with my self-worth. I didn’t realise how much I drew upon my work as the source of my identity. I had spent so much of my life working toward what I thought were my important life goals only to find out that this was not the case.

I ended up thinking ‘There must be more to life, or to me than this’?

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My career – my responsibility

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“Leaders who succeed take control of their lives. They don’t wait for others to hand them opportunities and they don’t believe they are owed anything. Leaders figure out what kind of glass cutter – or skills – they need to cut through or around their current obstacles.” (Liz Weber)

Personal career responsibility means accepting that you, and only you, are in charge of your own destiny.

Don’t wait for things to happen – make them happen! Don’t wait for a promotion to land in your lap and for management to offer you a new job on a platter. Don’t expect others to make things happen to you.

Choosing to be a victim of your circumstances makes you lose control over situations that come your way. Be specific about what you want. Don’t just think: “I want to get ahead”, but figure out exactly what success will look like. What position do you want and when? Once you have a solid and clear idea of the direction you want your life and career to go, make sure you have a plan to help you excel. Make your personal development plan and make a commitment to yourself to follow it through.

Your career is your responsibility!

Anja Uitdehaag

For more content visit our website http://www.femflection.com

Authenticity Matters

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“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde

The more we try to be something else—what our parents told us we should be, what our jobs demand us to be, what other people seem to think we should be—the more the desire to just be ourselves grows stronger.

In other words: Our authenticity comes under pressure as soon as we are challenged to act in a way that is foreign to our nature.

As long as we are able to find our own voice, adapt our behaviors and at the same time maintain our personal values and integrity we will function well.

The key to maintaining your balance of self and to become the most authentic version of yourself is simply focusing on what makes you happy by regularly checking in with yourself.

Taking care of your self is the most powerful way to begin to take care of others. Your wellbeing is the platform from which you serve others.

Embrace your individuality and be true to yourself!

Take care!

Anja Uitdehaag

For more content visit our website http://www.femflection.com

The Key To Our Success

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From the moment we are born we develop both our motives and values.  Motives are deep-seated non-conscious desires and are the things that we enjoy doing.  Values develop through social conditioning – home, school, religion, work, friends etc. Values are what we feel are important; the things we should do.

David McClelland’s theory on human motivation states that in normal, healthy human beings there are 3 social motives and values that describe the widest range of behaviors:

  • achievement,
  • affiliation and
  • power.

Achievement is a concern for achieving a standard of excellence that the individual sets for him/herself.  Often people with a dominant achievement motive strive for mastery and expertise in their chosen field.

Affiliation is concerned with having positive relationships for the sake of the relationship (and not in service of something else).  Individuals with a dominant affiliation motive invest in a few, deep relationships and often have strong reactions towards others – they are clear whom they like and dislike.  They prefer environments that are convivial and foster friendship.

The power motive is a concern to have influence and impact on others.  People with a dominant power motive like to have an audience and visibility.  They are often good networkers.

There is no ‘right’ motive profile that determines success; we are all different.

The key to our success lies in understanding what drives our behavior in various situations; this is a combination of our motives and our values (what we believe is important at the time) and the conditions that we find ourselves in.

Defining personal success is a journey of self-discovery; you need to figure out what is your true purpose, what you are passionate about, what you enjoy and find ways at work to satisfy that need. You must to listen to your inner voice rather than be influenced by others so that you can lead a fulfilling life and not feel regret when you retire because you did not follow your heart.

Anja Uitdehaag