Tag Archives: women

7 ways expats struggle more than most

The life of an expat may seem like a glamorous one. Many expats move abroad for better job opportunities, or for the lifestyle, or even for the fantastic weather and to enjoy a big adventure. From the outside, life seems full of possibilities and excitement…but being an expat is fraught with an array of unique problems that those remaining in their birth country may never understand.

Here are seven ways expats struggle more than others.

1. Communication barriers

Most expats speak English, but that doesn’t help when you are relocated to a country where they don’t. Even if you speak English at home and at work and you are doing your best to learn the host country’s language, it takes time to settle in, and in the meantime you are left struggling with issues that would normally be a walk in the park. Simple things like letters from the doctor’s office or the council; your television not working but not understanding the message that pops up on the screen; calling a company on the phone and not understanding the automated recording or what number to press – these tiny little inconveniences can lead to a sense of frustration, anxiety and in some cases anger or feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy.

2. Culture

One of the many reasons that expats look for work abroad is to submerge themselves in a new culture, but the flipside of that is that some cultures are hard to integrate into and difficult to align with your own customs and expectations…no matter how hard you try. Coupled with the communication barriers, it can sometimes feel very isolating and frustrating, you may feel cut off from your community and confused – or even worse, regretful of your move.

3. Losing your identity

Most expats move abroad for work – but if you move as a family, what about the other partner? What are they expected to do? Even though in a lot of cases one partner has moved the family because their new wage justifies the life change, the second partner is left to carve out a new identity for themselves. Do they embrace this change and start a new career? Train in something new? Reinvent themselves? Or will they be left feeling inferior, lost and unsure of their new role? These feelings of uncertainty, and sometimes resentment, can have a negative effect on the entire family and put pressure on the marriage. Without the usual support network around you, this shift can be even harder to manage.

4. Relocating family

It’s hard enough to move abroad and start afresh by yourself or as a couple, but what if you’re also trying to settle your children into a new school and a new way of life? Although children are pretty adaptable, and the children of expats probably more so than most, the knock-on effect of an anxious child can put pressure on the parent and affect marriages and alter the family dynamic.

5. Feelings of isolation

It takes a long time to create a community around you and to make friends. As a child, making friends and connecting with people is a normal part of life – but as you get older if becomes more forced and harder to do. When you are busy at home with family, and at work, how do you go out there and force yourself to get involved in your community and seek alliances with others?

An expat life can be a lonely one at times. It’s difficult to be separated from good friends and family, and it’s hard to live without emotional or practical support at hand, which is why some expats lose confidence or suffer from anxiety issues which they may previously not encountered.

6. Uncertainty

With the current political and financial climate, no job is a guaranteed job for life. So what happens when you experience feelings of uncertainty but you are abroad and dependent on that one job that brought you there? What if you are unhappy but there are limited options outside of your current role? When most people don’t like their job they are free to seek another nearby – but for an expat, that move is likely to be a huge one, one that affects the lives of the entire family including the children’s education, the partner’s job and the family’s lifestyle. When you feel like you lack choice in your career, it can lead to feelings of hopelessness, anxiety, stress, depression and ill health.

7. Lack of confidence

What makes us feel confident? The decisions we make in life, the encouragement and support of friends and family, our sense of worth at home and at work, and our own definition of who we are in society as a whole. So what happens when we are stripped of all of that? How do we feel when we are in a foreign country where everything we know, and everything that we feel defines us, is no longer the same? It takes on average a year to settle into a new country, and in that time you can experience the highest of highs and lowest of lows.

Being an expat is not all negative, far from it, or millions around the globe wouldn’t be jumping from country to country chasing exciting new job opportunities – but it is challenging.

Your story, our platform: If you’ve got a story and would like to share it with other Femflectors, please let us know. Femflection is all about transferring learnings to help others, be they big or subtle. We want to connect with your feelings, your learnings, your reflections or your hopes for the future – in blog or interview format. Express yourself here. Get in touch with us via anja.uitdehaag@femflection.com

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It is Great to Know You don’t Know ….

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By: Anja Uitdehaag 

Admitting you don’t know something could be seen as a sign of weakness. What do you do?

First of all relax.

Don’t stress about it.

You don’t come into the job knowing all there is to know about everything.

No matter what is your day to day work, it’s absolutely normal not to know everything. You’ll keep your credibility by saying, “I don’t know, but I’ll check for the answer”, than trying to answers with information you aren’t sure.

MORE IMPORTANTLY:

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I believe that the world could be a better place with art.

Selin-252x300.jpgFEMPROFILE

Kadriye Selin Kaçar was born in Rize, Turkey in 1965. She started her career in Law Consultancy. Currently, she is the owner of the D&S Art Gallery in Tuzla-Istanbul. She is preparing students for the entrance exams of fine arts faculties and in addition gives lessons to adults and children. Over the last two decades she had many domestic and international art exhibitions.

Who are you and what do you do?

I love nature and the colours associated with it – in particular spring and autumn; I think of spring as rebirth and autumn as peaceful rest – very much like life and death. I enjoy having a laugh on life and believe that the best form of protest is a smile. I truly enjoy reading, needless to say drawing and painting and whenever I get a chance I like to travel to places that I have not seen to date.

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20 Ways Why Being a Singleton Rocks

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Written by:  matheen

Most of the time, singletons were pitied for being alone in life. Don’t ever pity your singleton friends — they may be alone, but trust me, they’re not lonely. I know this because I’m a proud singleton by choice! Having learned from two failed relationships, I refuse to settle for less. Modern single women nowadays — are a far cry from Bridget Jones — whose live revolves around finding The One. We’re more focused on our own well-being. We’re not bothered with our status in life — we’re smarter and wiser because we’re done with crappy dates and staying in bad relationships. We spend our time working on ourselves, growing as individuals. It’s not being selfish; it’s living your life in the best possible ways. Being single means you’re strong enough to enjoy life without depending on others!

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FEM PROFILE: MINE BATIYEL

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After having spent about 30 years in business Mine Batiyel, Femflection Co-owner, felt it was the right time to quit and she has never looked back since. The most influential aspect that kept her out of business was art. At the age of 50, she started attending an art studio (D S Art Studio). She had not drawn anything until that time. What was initially intended as a hobby soon turned into a full time “job”.

Mine is an animal lover, a vegetarian, almost a bookworm, loves to do and watch sports, is very passionate about music and needless to say enjoys drawing and painting.

What is your favourite Quote or life motto?

There are so many which I have stored over the years – here are some of them: Continue reading

Situation 34: Assertive language

Femsy is slowly but surely growing in her role. Her communication style though, differs greatly from the assertive style from her male peers and subordinates. Billy strongly suggests her to start every sentence with “I” (“I think”, “I believe”). In this way she will come across much more confident.

(Click on the pictures to see them in full size)
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