Tag Archives: Communications Skills

When Office Politics Are At Odds With Your Personal Values

by River Ho Rathore

Just yesterday, I came across a Harvard Business Review article titled “Great Leaders Embrace Office Politics. Written by Michael Wenderoth, the article describes how, in the real world, our success is determined less by merit and more by perceptions and political skills. Michael’s writing is pragmatic and draws insights from top executives’ actual experiences, even his own. It also reminded me of the many warnings I have received about playing the office politics game. “It is there in every office. You cannot eliminate it, so you might as well play it,”  a number of colleagues, relatives and friends have told me so over the years. Continue reading

Situation 15: OFFICE RUDENESS

Femsy shares the office with Mansy, which is not easy for her. Mansy is often not greeting her in the morning, is not or hardly acknowledging her presence in the office, talks too loud on the telephone and is distracting Femsy from concentrating on her job by asking questions or making comments/jokes whenever it suits him.

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Susan Cain, “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking”

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Reviewed by Femflection

At least one-third of the people we know are introverts. If you aren’t one yourself, you work with one, or you’re the partner or parent of one.

Introverts prefer listening to speaking; innovate and create but dislike self-promotion and favor working on their own over working in teams.

Susan Cain, a former Wall Street lawyer, has been researching and writing about the subject for years. In “Quiet”, she looks at how our lives are shaped by personality. Continue reading

Phyllis Chesler, “Woman’s Inhumanity to Woman”

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Reviewed by Femflection

Phyllis Chesler (born October 1, 1940) is an American writer, psychotherapist, and professor emerita of psychology and women’s studies at the College of Staten Island (CUNY). She is known as a feminist psychologist, and is the author of 16 books, including the best-seller Women and Madness (1972). Chesler has written on topics such as gender, mental illness, divorce and child custody, surrogacy, second-wave feminism, pornography, prostitution, incest, and violence against women. Continue reading

Situation 12: TASK OVERLOAD

Femsy overloads Betsy with tasks that are not in her job description. Betsy decides to address this in a face-to-face conversation with Femsy to bring clarity to the situation.

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SORRY!

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According to a 2010 study in the journal Psychological Science, “women have a lower threshold for what constitutes offensive behavior,” and hence are more likely to see a need for an apology in everyday situations.

Women apologize more, and they seem to do so to be compliant and empathetic.

Should women “man up?”

Could apologizing be holding women back at work?

View one:

  • “Excuse me, may I ask…”
  • “I might be wrong, but …”
  • “I don’t know, but…”

Phrases like the above litter your speech, and each time you use one, you weaken your own voice. When you say what you mean in a direct, straightforward manner, you’ll be heard, understood and respected.

Knowing how to communicate with confidence sends the message that you are self-assured, proud of your skills, and comfortable in expressing your ideas.

When you stop saying sorry, you allow yourself to grow into the most confident version of yourself.

View two:

Ann Friedman believes it’s up to society to change the sorry game and wrote a story that followed Crosley’s, aptly titled, “Can We Just, Like, Get Over the Way Women Talk?”. She believes women shouldn’t be forced to “question [their] voice.” If all women were to change their speech patterns to fit a prescribed, “powerful” norm, our cadence “would lose the casual, friendly tone we wanted it to have and its special feeling of intimacy…it wouldn’t be ours anymore.”

My view:

There is power in empathy. Apologizing isn’t what keeps women out of high-powered jobs they deserve. It’s not the “sorry” that’s the problem. It’s the sexism.

Anja Uitdehaag

Situation 11: STEALING YOUR IDEA IN A MEETING

Femsy brings up a good idea in a meeting but unfortunately nobody picks up on it. Yet, 10 minutes later Mansy repeats the same idea and the Boss jumps at his idea and is praising him for his brilliance. Frustrating!

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Sylvia Ann Hewlett, “Executive Presence: The Missing Link Between Merit and Success”

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Reviewed by Femflection

Sylvia Ann Hewlett is the founding president of the Center for Talent Innovation, a Manhattan-based think tank where she chairs a task force of eighty-two multinational companies focused on fully realising the new streams of labor in the global marketplace.

Back Cover Summary:

This book is immensely practical. Hewlett teases out tactics that can help you raise your game and close the gap between merit and success. The author offers the unvarnished advice you won’t get from supportive friends and tackles head-on such touchy subjects as too-tight clothing and too-shrill voices. She shows how the standards for EP vary for men, women, multicultural, and LGBT employees, and she shares how to get meaningful feedback from politically correct bosses intent on avoiding the real issues.

Executive Presence is teachable. You can learn how to “show teeth” while remaining likable, and you can teach yourself how to dress appropriately while staying true to yourself. With hard facts and vivid examples, Hewlett shows you how to ace EP and fully realize your unique potential—no matter who you are, no matter where you work. Continue reading

Situation 10: WORKING HARD

Femsy strongly believes in the motto: “Work hard and you will get noticed and rewarded.” She makes long hours to get the job done. She is missing out on the “social talks” in order not to waste her time.

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Continue reading

I Am Just Doing My Job!

by Anja Uitdehaag

If you are anything like me, you probably believe your work should speak for itself.

Women, more often than men, believe that hard work will be recognized and pay off and do not do enough to network with their organization and self-publicize their achievements. When a more senior position opens up, they assume they will be considered based on their accomplishments and credentials, despite having been reluctant to voice them.

However, just rolling up your sleeves and working long hours is no qualifier to go up the career ladder in the business world. Continue reading