While doing errands the other day, I listened to a Ted Talk presented by Stefan Sagmeister, a NYC-based graphic designer and Co-Founder of Sagmeister and Walsh. The Ted Talk was titled ‘The Power of Time Off’.
What happens when you realise your path is entrepreneurship rather than employment? Lindsay takes up the challenge and shares an account of her journey as it unfolds…
So, one Friday afternoon, I got a call from a guy I happened to have been sitting next to on a flight to London a few weeks back. As we chatted, I discovered that he is the CEO of an agricultural business with projects in southern Europe and Africa, and I’d obviously told him about Mirror Mirror. He’d wanted a brochure, which I’d sent through afterwards.
Anyway, he was calling to say that his team in London were about to get some funding and embark on a growth phase. He wanted to set them up to succeed and thought Mirror Mirror would be a great way to do that.
Femsy admits that self-confidence remains an issue for her. She sometimes finds it tough to operate in a macho environment. Furthermore she feels she does not have a strong network. She agrees with boss to find a third party mentor.
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Reviewed by Femflection
The authors of “Hardball for women” share their insights into gender differences in the workplace and offer suggestions on how women can soar in male-dominated environments.
It teaches women to use the unwritten rules of business to get ahead in their careers.
The game of business is hardball, played according to the rules of the male culture. The book explains the different behaviors and mind-sets boys and girls learn and carry into their lives as adult men and women. For example, boys learn to compete; girls learn to get along.
Some “Hardball for Women” quotes:
“Hardball for Women” – the book:
Each chapter begins with a summary of the hardball lessons boys learn and the house-and-doll lessons girls learn. It concludes with key pointers for playing hardball successfully. Concepts are illustrated with compelling real-life examples.
This constructive, straightforward and no-nonsense guide deals with how and why the two genders are different, how to make the best of one’s assets and how to be forceful without being cruel or overly aggressive.
It also addresses the issues of being a team player or a leader, using language and non-verbal cues powerfully, and setting goals and staying focused. Staying focused is especially important for women since women tend to back off and lose when others become aggressive.
Most of my career, I’ve worked in male-dominated fields.
Biggest take away for me from the book was that I can truly do something to place myself on equal standing with both men and women in the workplace. It all depends on knowing the rules of the game and find out how to navigate them effectively.
A while ago I took my 20 years old “Hardball for Women” edition down from the shelf and loaned it to one of my female friends who had issues with her male boss. She recognized herself very well in the description of the gender issues and they were so much applicable to her own situation that she bought her own 2015 edited copy.
If you have a career in any workplace – and it does not need to be a mostly male workplace – this book provides invaluable advice.
At the same time, it offers men considerable insight into the strengths and contributions of the female culture.
I highly recommend “Hardball for Women” to any woman who works.
Your story, our platform: If you’ve got a story and would like to share it with other Femflectors, please let us know. Femflection is all about transferring learnings to help others, be they big or subtle. We want to connect with your feelings, your learnings, your reflections or your hopes for the future – in blog or interview format. Express yourself here. Get in touch with us via anja.uitdehaag@femflection.com
For more content visit our website http://www.femflection.com
FEM-PROFILE:
Karen Kao is an author whose debut novel, The Dancing Girl and the Turtle, will be released on April 1. Before she began writing, Karen practiced law for 22 years, first in the United States and later the Netherlands. Her last job title was Partner and Head of Corporate for Kennedy Van der Laan, a major law firm in Amsterdam. Karen was an expert in cross-border mergers and acquisitions. She speaks with us today about daring to make career moves across borders and disciplines.
You’ve made some major career switches. Tell us where it all started?
My original career choice was to become a poet. I was still in college at the time and thought I had it all worked out. I would learn how to cut hair. Then I would travel to Europe, live on the beach and write poetry. Simple!
My father disagreed. Law seemed like a much more stable career. He had me apply to law school. To my surprise, Georgetown University Law Center accepted me. At the time, it was one of the top 10 law schools in the country. How could I turn it down?
But I hated law school. I had to learn how to analyze text so that I could use the words as weapons. It killed my love of reading for a long time. Luckily, the practice of law is entirely different. As a young telecom attorney in Washington, DC, most of my work involved getting permits or exemptions from the government. From now on, my career path would entail a lot of time talking to engineers on the phone.
“It takes courage to become who you really are” – E.E. Cummings
Living your dreams mean “knowing who you are, then, do what you need to do in order to have what you want.”
This might sound easier said than done.
Sometimes you may lose your way toward your dreams or even feel like you never had a path in the first place.
Did you ever feel like you were unsure about who you are? What you want? Not brave enough to be who you are or make your dreams happen?
Finding joy in Being You and Belief in Yourself determine how you will make your life journey.
The more often you are brave enough to express who you are, the easier it gets…
We believe that every woman can be successful in what she does if she can generate the courage to give it a go.
Femflection.com is a creative and inspirational personal development website for professional and dynamic women in business and arts of all ages and cultures. We combine motivational leadership with the inspirational creativity of art.
We believe that Art is a language and like any other language it is a vehicle of communication, i.e. self-expression of ideas and most inner/deep feelings. Art provides ample opportunity for imagination and creativity; as such it also turns out to be a wonderful way to tackle important work/life issues and share (self)-leadership lessons, thoughts & experiences.
It is our goal to help professional women to build their courage and put it to good use through reflection, overcoming self-limiting beliefs, gaining self-insight, identifying potential areas for development and pointing out critical success factors. We encourage you to dream big and take practical action to live a life that matters to you!
When you have a few minutes, take a look around at our web address Femflection.com and let us know what you think.
What happens when you realise your path is entrepreneurship rather than employment? Lindsay takes up the challenge and shares an account of her journey as it unfolds…
After the high of the business breakfast in London, I got back to my desk and started processing the feedback. There were three clear messages. I reflected on the one I’d found most useful first (I’d mentioned it in my previous post. Let me unpack it a little more…)
Someone on my table said “Don’t go thinking that alignment is the holy grail.”
Femsy friends Betsy on Facebook, however, Betsy does not feel comfortable melding personal and professional lives.
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A great leader:
How to best handle the situation:
Given the increasing demands of work, it is likely that you are working long hours on projects with your colleagues. The intensity of the work can result in camaraderie and the formation of strong bonds – a feeling of ‘we are all in this together’. Therefore, it is not surprising that some work colleagues may consider you to be more than just a coworker and try to extend the relationship to your personal life.
If you feel uncomfortable with any invitation to socialize either physically or virtually it is best to have a face-to-face conversation with the person concerned. Do not respond to a friend request on Facebook directly on the app/platform. Ask the individual why they sent you the invitation Remember to use a tone that is conversational rather than judgmental. ‘I saw that you sent me a friend request on Facebook, I’m curious as to why’ or ‘By the way, I saw your friend request on Facebook, that was a surprise’ are better than ‘Why did you send me a friend request on Facebook?’ Actively listen to what he/she is saying to you; your aim is to get the other person to open up to you so you understand his/her motives, then you can decide how you want to respond.
If you still feel awkward with having a personal relationship say that politely; thank him/her for the invitation and say that you normally prefer not to mix business and pleasure. However, it may be that once you have heard the reasons, for example, the person does not know many people in the area and would like to meet up occasionally or feel that you have mutual interests that you can share via social media, you will feel able to give this a try. It is fine to tell him/her that you feel a bit awkward since this is not something that you normally do, but will give it a try to see how it goes. This signals to the other person that there is a chance that you will ‘unfriend’ him/her at some point if you continue to feel awkward.
Learning suggestions:
Femchallenge:
Consider whether you can be truly successful without making some friends at work.
Femcommunity tips:
We welcome your thoughts, experiences and comments on how you would deal with such a situation.
Find more on our website Femflection.com
“I believe that being successful means having a balance of success stories across the many areas of your life. You can’t truly be considered successful in your business life if your home life is in shambles”. – Zig Ziglar
The best work-life balance is different for each of us and will vary over time because we all have different priorities and different lives. The right balance for you when you are single will be different when you marry, or if you have children.
A full 70% of jobs are found through networking, and 40% of job seekers say they found their dream job through a personal connection.
So, building a strong network of connections is crucial to career success.
Build your network way before you need it.
Make networking a part of your everyday routine, rather than relying on it only when you are desperate.
There are always new people to meet and relationships to deepen.
Give before you take!
A “How can I help you?”- attitude builds trust into any relationship. It shows you care about a person and that you are backing your caring up with concrete action.
As Adam Grant, professor at Wharton and author of Give and Take has found, the people who give more than they take go further and experience more success.
Your story, our platform: If you’ve got a story and would like to share it with other Femflectors, please let us know. Femflection is all about transferring learnings to help others, be they big or subtle. We want to connect with your feelings, your learnings, your reflections or your hopes for the future – in blog or interview format. Express yourself here. Get in touch with us via anja.uitdehaag@femflection.com
For more content visit our website http://www.femflection.com
Help you to succeed in life and work 