Tag Archives: women@work

NO WAY – WHAT WILL THEY THINK?

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Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”– Marianne Williamson

I am pre-programmed to question myself: can I really do this? What if people don’t like what I have done?

When self-doubts creep in, I get highly sensitive and quick to take things personally. Or – when things have not gone as expected – I just do nothing and give in to the disappointment.

I am not only afraid of failure; being successful is scary as well! Imagine the changes success could potentially bring? Do I really deserve it? What happens when I am going to lose it again? And of course: how are my friends and family going to react? Will I lose their love and acceptance because of envy, jealousy and resentment?

Self-doubt can make you feel inadequate, overwhelmed and insecure. As a result you don’t do the things you need to do, are scared to try new activities and lose the motivation to perform.

To become more confident, stop thinking so much and act.

If you are constantly thinking that you are not good enough or that you will never make it, that is what you will believe and that will become your reality.

Next time you experience fear, ask yourself “What is the worst thing that could happen?” Acknowledge your fear and then let it go. Remind yourself that worst case scenario’s are nothing but products of the imagination and that they rarely come to fruition.

Your story, our platform: If you’ve got a story and would like to share it with other Femflectors, please let us know. Femflection is all about transferring learnings to help others, be they big or subtle. We want to connect with your feelings, your learnings, your reflections or your hopes for the future – in blog or interview format. Express yourself here. Get in touch with us via anja.uitdehaag@femflection.com

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You are not your mistakes

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By: Anja Uitdehaag 

To make mistakes is human; to stumble is commonplace; to be able to laugh at yourself is maturity – William Arthur Ward

Making no mistakes is, of course, impossible.

There are some very interesting gender differences in how men and women view mistakes. In “How Men Think”, Adrienne Mendell notes the different reactions of men and women regarding their mistakes. Women, in general, have a more difficult time when they make mistakes. She says this is because women are socialized to feel differently about mistakes. Boys are raised to be respected by their team if they learn from what they did wrong. Mistakes provide an opportunity to do better the next time.

But for girls, it is different. When girls make mistakes, they are consoled. This reinforces the idea that they should feel badly about the mistakes.

Mendell compared two partners in an architectural firm who made a mistake on a contract. The woman was devastated and wanted to give up for the rest of the day. The male partner was not ready to give in. He believed that even though the problem was severe, it could be solved. He worked through the night, resolved the issue and they got the contract.

The bottom line, according to Mendell, is that women not only focus on mistakes, but often draw greater attention to them than is necessary. Men are more inclined to forget them and move on or fix them.

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happiness is a choice.

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By: Angie Falls

Just last week I went to an event which was focused on happiness. What is happiness and how can we achieve that state in life? It made me think about my own situation. My personal life and my work life. Do I have the good work-life balance? Am I not too much busy with work and neglecting my personal relationships? In the end, it is all about relationships. How to get new relationships and most of all how to maintain the relationships. I love meeting new people. Get to know them through their stories.

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Lindsay’s In Business: PART 33: A New Normal

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What happens when you realise your path is entrepreneurship rather than employment? Lindsay takes up the challenge and shares an account of her journey as it unfolds…

I guess after every high you get a bit of a low. And I’m trying to work out why I do feel a bit low right now.

Let me update you on the latest developments: Continue reading

D I S C O V E R I N G ・ W H O ・ A N D ・ W H A T ・ W E ・ A R E

SigmundBy: Angie Falls

Having a fulltime job and 3 freelance assignments can be burdening. I start to doubt myself. Am I heading in the right direction? Is it correct the way I am engaged to get some fulfilling work done? Or am I just afraid to jump? Jump to the unknown. To determine whether I am on the right track I decided to pursue sessions with a psychologist.

Psychoanalysis is worth trying for personal growth on a personal and professional level.

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Lindsay’s In Business: PART 32: The Turnaround

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What happens when you realise your path is entrepreneurship rather than employment? Lindsay takes up the challenge and shares an account of her journey as it unfolds…

I can’t tell you how much has been happening – and it’s all so exciting!

OK to pick up from last time, I mentioned a new trial I have coming up. It starts with interviews next week and it’s with a student project team from the University of Applied Sciences in Austria. Ping! It just happened…

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How to set goals and reach them

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By: Koach.net

Every year, on the first of January, millions of people wake up convinced that life is going to get better. With heads full of resolutions, goals and targets, we tell ourselves that this year is going to be different. This time things will change because we’re going to try really hard. Then by February we’ve given up.

Why is that? Why is it that statistically 92% of people struggle to meet their goals?

The answer is simple – we are too vague.

‘I need to lose a few pounds.’

‘I have to find a better job.’

‘I need to stand up for myself more.’

These statements may have good intentions behind them, but all your mind is going to do is agree with you – ‘yep, you’d be happier if you were healthier, with a job you enjoyed and everyone treated you better.’ Well that goes without saying, wouldn’t we all be happier with that?

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Reflecting on Career and Professional Development

stairs of knowledgeBy: Angie Falls

I think about a famous lesson from Confucius around 450 B.C. that illustrates the importance of active engagement and real-time experiences in learning:

“TELL ME, AND I WILL FORGET, SHOW ME, AND I MAY REMEMBER, INVOLVE ME, AND I WILL UNDERSTAND.”

By reflecting on the actions, I took at work and the concrete experiences I had has taught me to recognize that the experiences have shaped a new way of thinking for me.

Communication is one of the most important professional skills that I could develop. I use action-oriented and positive words whenever communicating.

By describing how I perform my work, including skills and tools I use to manage my work tasks give me a clear picture of the past. The learning objectives that I established can highlight the skills that I have developed. I used the PAR strategy to have a clear method to document my accomplishments.

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Lindsay’s in Business: part 31: Getting Real

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I’m on a train, pondering about how fascinating it is how the world can be seen through one of three lenses:

The first is how you are subjected to what’s happening around you.

  • The school announced it’s going to close, which means the night classes that I teach will have to stop.

The second is how you want to see it, interpreting events and opportunities in a way that supports your motivations.

  • The school announced it’s going to close but that could mean the buildings might become available for a community project and my night classes could also be day classes!

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