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Lindsay’s In Business: PART 50: All change
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What happens when you realise your path is entrepreneurship rather than employment? Lindsay takes up the challenge and shares an account of her journey as it unfolds…
Just on my way back from a one week trip to London – wow. It seems like everything is changing so fast!
Great response from a conference on Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday morning’s intro meeting with a Strategy Implementation consultancy was very positive. My new Director was able to join – I think it really gave him some confidence. The next steps agreed were:
- let’s run a Quick Scan with his team
- let’s produce a one-pager to share with a current client.
On Thursday, the leader of the conference I’d attended on Monday (who also runs a consultancy) got in contact to say he’d approached one of his clients who is potentially interested in running Mirror Mirror across multiple teams.
Both consultancies were talking about delivering the whole customer facing process themselves. This means we would effectively then just ‘license’ the use of Mirror Mirror. Taking on that business model – to sell licenses and mainly, or fully, work with consultancies to deliver – has a number of refreshing advantages. It isn’t a million miles from the way we’d been thinking before, but if we move away from being consultants ourselves and can scale up that way, it makes our job much more focused, lean, and simple.
Then to top it all off, Friday, a Head of Comms in an international European organization sent me a meeting request. That wasn’t unexpected, but it felt new. Normally I’m the one doing the polite chasing – but here we are – I’m being chased! It felt like we were on a whole new flow.
But back to the license-sales model. Thinking more on that, immediately, 2 new priorities go straight to the top:
- We need to train the trainer – to get that design and content ready – not too difficult.
- We need to upgrade our software – the black box that could now be our main revenue stream – needs to upgrade. That’s a major cost and I’ve got some ideas about the funding for that.
Now, instead of losing sleep because I’m worried about the future of the business, I’m losing sleep because my mind is whirring with excitement about the future of the business!
And new challenges come up with every new era. With two new team members joining, how to strike a deal with them that balances an offer of ownership / revenue shares with what they will provide in return, and that is also fair to the two of us who have already been working at this for 2 years. Tricky stuff. The answer isn’t obvious and I discuss it 1-1 with each team member.
With the new wave of confidence being generated by all of this good news, I pick up hints of guardedness among what the other three may be ok with in a new configuration of arrangements that I haven’t felt before in the business. I realise that I’m feeling nervous about handling this issue properly. I’m not great with interpersonal conflict and fear this topic may jeopardise the goodwill and harmony we need to move forward as a team of four.
But I have to pick myself up and get out of fear-mode. I can’t solve this immediately and there must be a good solution at hand. Relax – this is inevitable. My goal is to be transparent with all four of us so that we understand and are happy with the various arrangements among us. The skill now is to mediate towards that understanding and come up with something that has been properly thought through instead of acting impulsively.
Then it crosses my mind that maybe I am being completely naïve – maybe it won’t be possible to find a win-win for all. Was transparency a mistake here? I hadn’t even considered NOT being transparent because the values of the business are grounded in openness, respect, and inclusivity.
But I’ll press on with finding a solution that fits. I don’t want to lose anyone and I want those values to be real.
Mirror Mirroris a proprietary organizational effectiveness process. It is the quickest and most cost-efficient way to accelerate shared understanding and ownership within teams as a means of improving strategy implementation.
Your story, our platform: If you’ve got a story and would like to share it with other Femflectors, please let us know. Femflection is all about transferring learnings to help others, be they big or subtle. We want to connect with your feelings, your learnings, your reflections or your hopes for the future – in blog or interview format. Express yourself here. Get in touch with us via anja.uitdehaag@femflection.com
For more content visit our website http://www.femflection.com
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How to move on when You Don’t Feel Valued at Work
By: Angie Falls
Day in day out I put my efforts in an ever-changing company. Unfortunately, my efforts go unnoticed. After numerous attempts to get promoted and define my responsibilities, I get involved in this with managers who are not capable to turn this around.
It is time I highlight my achievements in every aspect of work. I now have set a deadline for the situation being changed or leave the company. On the other hand, leaving the company would be the easy way out. I choose to challenge the organization.
I read an article on the topic to get some theoretical insight;
What the Experts Say Continue reading
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Lindsay’s In Business: PART 48: More epiphanies and hot developments
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What happens when you realise your path is entrepreneurship rather than employment? Lindsay takes up the challenge and shares an account of her journey as it unfolds…
I’m just going to list all of the amazing developments that have happened in the past week – it seems like so much!!
A guy I used to work with – very senior, very credible, very well-connected and an EXCELLENT leader – has taken an interest in a role with Mirror Mirror. He loves the idea and wants to get involved in a start-up – I’m so flattered! We had a one-day workshop and talked through a load of stuff: he’ll get involved in providing advice, sales prep & activity, commercial housekeeping, and business development. That’s so massive. He will change the game here. Our workshop was so inspiring and much of the list items below came out of the discussion I had with him. Let’s call him my Director.
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JUST BE YOURSELF
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“Nothing important, or meaningful, or beautiful, or interesting, or great, ever came out of imitations. What is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. More difficult because there is no zeitgeist to read, no template to follow, no mask to wear. Terrifying, actually, because it requires you to set aside what your friends expect, what your family and your co-workers demand, what your acquaintances require, to set aside the messages this culture sends, through its advertising, its entertainment, its disdain, and its disapproval, about how you should behave.” – Anna Quindlen
Our true self is who we really are when we let go of all of the stories, labels, and judgments that we have placed upon ourselves. It is who we naturally are without the masks and pretentiousness.
For me, being my self means being honest and genuine. It means stop pretending to be somebody I am not, putting on a show and trying to fit in. It also means deciding what I really want from life, standing up for what I believe in, and following my own value system and common sense.
To be true to yourself takes courage. It requires you to be introspective, sincere, open-minded and fair. It also requires you to take the risk of learning something about yourself as well as to take responsibility for yourself.
When you are being yourself, it is easier to see what you want out of life and what is truly important to you.
Only by being true to yourself you can own your life.
Your story, our platform: If you’ve got a story and would like to share it with other Femflectors, please let us know. Femflection is all about transferring learnings to help others, be they big or subtle. We want to connect with your feelings, your learnings, your reflections or your hopes for the future – in blog or interview format. Express yourself here. Get in touch with us via anja.uitdehaag@femflection.com
For more content visit our website http://www.femflection.com
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Lindsay’s In Business: PART 47: Epiphany
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What happens when you realise your path is entrepreneurship rather than employment? Lindsay takes up the challenge and shares an account of her journey as it unfolds…
In the last post I gave you a link to my first Mirror Mirror webinar. Whether you watched it or not, I can tell you that it went well, I got a reasonably-sized audience, some compliments afterwards – and in it, I must have mentioned ‘alignment’ around 200 times.
In a blog a few weeks earlier, I talked about the mountain range. How just when you think you’ve reached the top to land something concrete, (like pricing, positioning, strategy) you see another range in sight – a better way forwards: things keep morphing and changing. And that’s more than ok because at least you can see where you need to go next to suceed.
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Do you know what you don’t like about yourself in a conflict situation?
“In business, when two people always agree, one of them is irrelevant” – William Wrigley.
Conflict is a normal part of any healthy relationship. Nobody can be expected to agree on everything all the time. Make conflict resolution the priority rather than winning or being right. Maintaining and strengthening the relationship should always be the first priority. Say what must be said in a way that is not damaging the relationship. Pride does not belong at work!
Suggestions for managing and resolving conflict:
- If you have a problem explain your thinking and ask the other party to explain his/her thinking. Focus only on the issue, not on the person. Separate facts from opinions and assumptions;
- Take the time to really define the problem: describe the problem and its impact, avoid direct blaming remarks, make the problem concrete and specific;
- Listen for what is felt as well as said. Let the other person finish, don’t interrupt, ask clarifying questions, acknowledge the other person’s feelings and show respect;
- Use contrasting technique if applicable: “I don’t want to appear that I haven’t heard what you said, because I have. I do want to express a different way to look at the situation”;
- Let the person know when what you are about to say is difficult: “this is a bit difficult for me to say, but I do want to let you know how I see the situation”;
If you get emotional, pause and pull yourself together; - Focus on the common goals, priorities and problems on both sides. Find wins on both sides, give in on little points, show respect;
- Keep the open conflict points as concrete and specific as possible (the more abstract it gets, the more unmanageable it is);
- If you cannot agree on a solution on all conflict points, agree on a procedure to move forward;
- Know when to let go of something: agree to disagree, disengage and move on;
If needed, take the situation to the upper level for further calibration or decision taking.
Other learning suggestions:
We often don’t like in others what we don’t want to see in ourselves. Are you up for a challenge? Write down five traits that really bug you when you see them in others. Be aware that these traits are your “hot buttons”.
Your story, our platform: If you’ve got a story and would like to share it with other Femflectors, please let us know. Femflection is all about transferring learnings to help others, be they big or subtle. We want to connect with your feelings, your learnings, your reflections or your hopes for the future – in blog or interview format. Express yourself here. Get in touch with us via anja.uitdehaag@femflection.com
For more content visit our website http://www.femflection.com
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There is a difference between hard work and smart work that gets you noticed.
“Women lose sight of their goals by taking on extra responsibilities. We are virtual responsibility magnets. We don’t make these decisions consciously or deliberately but out of fear that if we don’t act on a need it will never get resolved. But we fail to realize that once we become responsible for something we might be responsible for it forever.”
This quote is from Pat Heim – the author of the no-nonsense book I highly recommend you to read: “Hardball for Women”
I have another quote for you. According to Pablo Picasso “There are only two types of women – goddesses and doormats”.
Let’s have a closer look at the differences:
Doormats:
- Do whatever is asked of them
- Tolerate mental and physical abuse
- Believe it is their responsibility to care for others
- Are disrespected
- Never ask for anything for themselves
- Can’t say no
- Give others permission to walk on them
Goddesses:
- Get others to do what they ask
- Banish abusers from their presence
- Believe it is the responsibility of others to care for them
- Are worshipped
- Feel entitled to get what they want
- Won’t take no for an answer
- Walk away from people who walk on them
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LIKED ENOUGH
Steve Jobs once said, “If you want to make everyone happy, don’t be a leader, sell ice cream”.
The qualities we tend to like in women (modesty, humility) are not the qualities that get professional recognition. Qualities we tend to like in men (self-confidence, assertiveness, asking directly for what you want) are the same qualities we uphold in the business world.
Caring too much about what others think of you stifles your ability to take risks and disrupts your social satisfaction. While you can’t control what other people think of you, you can control what you think of yourself and how you respond towards those who judge you.
People you work with do not need to like you.
People you work with need to respect you.
Strong leaders treat everyone well, but their actions are focused on the organization’s mission, vision, and goals rather than getting everyone to like them.
Be comfortable with the fact that not everyone will like you at work, in your neighborhood, and in your community activities; they never will.
Jesus, Gandhi, and Mother Teresa weren’t liked by everyone. So how can you and I possibly expect to attain 100% adoration? If we try to achieve that, we’ll bend and flex so much no one will know what we stand for – including ourselves. Be true to yourself and your values. It’s important that YOU like yourself and what you stand for. When that happens, others will stand with you.
Liz Weber
Your story, our platform: If you’ve got a story and would like to share it with other Femflectors, please let us know. Femflection is all about transferring learnings to help others, be they big or subtle. We want to connect with your feelings, your learnings, your reflections or your hopes for the future – in blog or interview format. Express yourself here. Get in touch with us via anja.uitdehaag@femflection.com
For more content visit our website http://www.femflection.com
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Does Gender Matter When it Comes to Your Mentor?
Girls are often raised to believe that it’s not polite to speak about your-self. So many women wait to be recognized and then are frustrated when they aren’t.
With the guidance of a trusted mentor, women can learn to overcome the internal and external factors that hold them back, and go on to successfully grow in their careers.
One of the most basic questions in the mentor-selection process is whether to be mentored by a man or a woman. When it comes to mentoring women, should the gender of mentor candidates be a consideration? The answer is not straightforward. While some experts and executives believe male mentors can offer the best resources to women, others feel that female mentors can offer better understanding of specific issues that mentees need to know. Still others feel that gender should not be a deciding factor for mentorship.
The bottom line?
Think about your goals for a mentoring relationship. If your company’s management structure is male-dominated and you need access to the “boy’s club,” a male mentor might make more sense, at least initially. But if you’re hoping to be advised by someone who has gone before you in your shoes and experienced similar challenges firsthand, you might prefer a female mentor.
Through a female or male mentor, you will have access to circles previously closed to you – you’ll receive firsthand know-how, tailored to your specific needs and your current position – and you’ll gain recognition in the places where decisions are made.
Choose someone who is more experienced in your field, someone who you respect professionally, find inspiring and look forward to spending time with. He/she should energize you.
Your story, our platform: If you’ve got a story and would like to share it with other Femflectors, please let us know. Femflection is all about transferring learnings to help others, be they big or subtle. We want to connect with your feelings, your learnings, your reflections or your hopes for the future – in blog or interview format. Express yourself here. Get in touch with us via anja.uitdehaag@femflection.com
For more content visit our website http://www.femflection.com
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