Tag Archives: self-confidence

Lindsay’s In Business: PART 55. An emotional journey

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Photo by Adrianna Calvo on Pexels.com

What happens when you realise your path is entrepreneurship rather than employment? Lindsay takes up the challenge and shares an account of her journey as it unfolds…

It’s getting so exciting because the idea I last blogged about, to launch a free online team effectiveness test, is going to happen and who knows where it will lead! We aim to launch it in October and run it for 10 months. I’m going to get it promoted ALL OVER social media and it will disrupt the ‘command and control’ leaders when their team members initiate this without their knowledge. It could just generate some interesting leads and data – it could catch on, become shared, and reach our goal of 1,000 participating teams. Great PR stories to come!

It’s getting exciting because a prestigious management school has asked me to run a short version of Mirror Mirror for 100 of their students to teach them about teamwork and leadership, and to help them in innovation challenges with leading global organizations.

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It is Great to Know You don’t Know ….

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IMG_0044Admitting you don’t know something could be seen as a sign of weakness. What do you do?

First of all relax.

Don’t stress about it.

You don’t come into the job knowing all there is to know about everything.

No matter what is your day to day work, it’s absolutely normal not to know everything. You’ll keep your credibility by saying, “I don’t know, but I’ll check for the answer”, than trying to answers with information you aren’t sure.

MORE IMPORTANTLY:

You probably know those people who are sure they know everything because they think they’ve seen it all and done it all. They’ve stopped learning.

They believe they’ve accumulated enough knowledge. They are afraid of learning something new because that causes them to call into question the absolute validity of their experiences and knowledge.

However, in todays’ fast changing world it is impossible to know everything.

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NO WAY – WHAT WILL THEY THINK?

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Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”– Marianne Williamson

I am pre-programmed to question myself: can I really do this? What if people don’t like what I have done?

When self-doubts creep in, I get highly sensitive and quick to take things personally. Or – when things have not gone as expected – I just do nothing and give in to the disappointment.

I am not only afraid of failure; being successful is scary as well! Imagine the changes success could potentially bring? Do I really deserve it? What happens when I am going to lose it again? And of course: how are my friends and family going to react? Will I lose their love and acceptance because of envy, jealousy and resentment?

Self-doubt can make you feel inadequate, overwhelmed and insecure. As a result you don’t do the things you need to do, are scared to try new activities and lose the motivation to perform.

To become more confident, stop thinking so much and act.

If you are constantly thinking that you are not good enough or that you will never make it, that is what you will believe and that will become your reality.

Next time you experience fear, ask yourself “What is the worst thing that could happen?” Acknowledge your fear and then let it go. Remind yourself that worst case scenario’s are nothing but products of the imagination and that they rarely come to fruition.

Your story, our platform: If you’ve got a story and would like to share it with other Femflectors, please let us know. Femflection is all about transferring learnings to help others, be they big or subtle. We want to connect with your feelings, your learnings, your reflections or your hopes for the future – in blog or interview format. Express yourself here. Get in touch with us via anja.uitdehaag@femflection.com

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DREAM BIG – ACT SMALL

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 By: Anja Uitdehaag

 “If your dreams do not scare you, they are not big enough.” — Ellen Johnson Sirleaf

All kids dream big. They want to be super famous, super meaningful, super powerful superheroes. (I used to spend quite a bit of time dreaming about doing something special and be famous for making a positive difference to the whole world in my own way.)

As we mature, these dreams are typically educated out of us. With age comes “wisdom” and a more “practical” perspective. We lower our expectations and often fear failure and risk taking.

Such a shame!

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You are not your mistakes

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By: Anja Uitdehaag 

To make mistakes is human; to stumble is commonplace; to be able to laugh at yourself is maturity – William Arthur Ward

Making no mistakes is, of course, impossible.

There are some very interesting gender differences in how men and women view mistakes. In “How Men Think”, Adrienne Mendell notes the different reactions of men and women regarding their mistakes. Women, in general, have a more difficult time when they make mistakes. She says this is because women are socialized to feel differently about mistakes. Boys are raised to be respected by their team if they learn from what they did wrong. Mistakes provide an opportunity to do better the next time.

But for girls, it is different. When girls make mistakes, they are consoled. This reinforces the idea that they should feel badly about the mistakes.

Mendell compared two partners in an architectural firm who made a mistake on a contract. The woman was devastated and wanted to give up for the rest of the day. The male partner was not ready to give in. He believed that even though the problem was severe, it could be solved. He worked through the night, resolved the issue and they got the contract.

The bottom line, according to Mendell, is that women not only focus on mistakes, but often draw greater attention to them than is necessary. Men are more inclined to forget them and move on or fix them.

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Lindsay’s In Business: PART 35: Fascinating stuff 

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What happens when you realise your path is entrepreneurship rather than employment? Lindsay takes up the challenge and shares an account of her journey as it unfolds…

 Hi – there’s an update below but meantime, isn’t this fascinating!

“The real challenge in crafting strategy lies in detecting the subtle discontinuities that may undermine a business in the future. And for that, there is no technique, no program, just a sharp mind in touch with the situation.”

Henry Mintzberg

That means that planning and refining a strategy is hugely dependent on feedback from people at the coalface…

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Lindsay’s In Business: PART 32: The Turnaround

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What happens when you realise your path is entrepreneurship rather than employment? Lindsay takes up the challenge and shares an account of her journey as it unfolds…

I can’t tell you how much has been happening – and it’s all so exciting!

OK to pick up from last time, I mentioned a new trial I have coming up. It starts with interviews next week and it’s with a student project team from the University of Applied Sciences in Austria. Ping! It just happened…

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Lindsay’s in Business: part 31: Getting Real

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I’m on a train, pondering about how fascinating it is how the world can be seen through one of three lenses:

The first is how you are subjected to what’s happening around you.

  • The school announced it’s going to close, which means the night classes that I teach will have to stop.

The second is how you want to see it, interpreting events and opportunities in a way that supports your motivations.

  • The school announced it’s going to close but that could mean the buildings might become available for a community project and my night classes could also be day classes!

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Situation 48: taking things personally

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Billy and Betsy are having their monthly ‘mentoring’ session. Boss was not happy with the monthly performance report Betsy has sent in. She takes the criticism highly personally  Billy gets fed up after a while and tells her to toughen up.

(Click on the pictures to see them in full size)

A great leader:

  • Is open to and actively seeks feedback to improve her performance;
  • Learns from her mistakes;
  • Develops a network of support to help her succeed in her role.

How to best handle the situation:

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You are not your mistakes

Leave a reply

22.jpg

 By: Anja Uitdehaag

To make mistakes is human; to stumble is commonplace; to be able to laugh at yourself is maturity – William Arthur Ward

Making no mistakes is, of course, impossible.

There are some very interesting gender differences in how men and women view mistakes. In “How Men Think”, Adrienne Mendell notes the different reactions of men and women regarding their mistakes. Women, in general, have a more difficult time when they make mistakes. She says this is because women are socialized to feel differently about mistakes. Boys are raised to be respected by their team if they learn from what they did wrong. Mistakes provide an opportunity to do better the next time.

But for girls, it is different. When girls make mistakes, they are consoled. This reinforces the idea that they should feel badly about the mistakes.

Continue reading →