What happens when you realise your path is entrepreneurship rather than employment? Lindsay takes up the challenge and shares an account of her journey as it unfolds…
And then – all at once, an unrelated series of pick-me-ups came in!! Is this it? Is this the start of a turnaround? Continue reading
There are some conflicting views about whether women should minimize the use of weak language; word such as ‘just’. A few years ago Ellen Petry Leanse, former exec at Google and Apple (https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/just-say-ellen-petry-leanse) noticed that women use the word ‘just’ frequently in emails, conversations and emails. She felt that this was a ‘permission’ word that put the other party in a position of authority and control. Shane Ferro, writing in Business Insider (http://tinyurl.com/zkjutoy), disputes Leanses’s claims saying that women should not have to self-regulate everything that they are saying since this in itself undermines their confidence.
When women try to act more like their male counterparts and use strong language they are often viewed negatively. Therefore, it is important to find your own, unique voice and style that reflects who you are and how you want to be seen. If you are happy to be seen as hard and aggressive, that’s fine. If you want to have a different reputation, look for a way to get your message across in an assertive, yet feminine way.
Believe in yourself, you are in your position because your colleagues and seniors think that you are capable and have a valid perspective. Speak out with authority on topics where you have a viewpoint and something to contribute.
Think about how you want to come across to other participants; what impression do you want to make? What do you want them to say and think about you? Ensure that you wear outfits that make you feel good and confident whilst respecting the dress code.
Learning suggestions:
How many of the tips above do you follow? Identify areas and situations where you can increase your assertiveness.
Your story, our platform: If you’ve got a story and would like to share it with other Femflectors, please let us know. Femflection is all about transferring learnings to help others, be they big or subtle. We want to connect with your feelings, your learnings, your reflections or your hopes for the future – in blog or interview format. Express yourself here. Get in touch with us via anja.uitdehaag@femflection.com
For more content visit our website http://www.femflection.com
What happens when you realise your path is entrepreneurship rather than employment? Lindsay takes up the challenge and shares an account of her journey as it unfolds…
Last time I wrote to you, I was talking about resilience. It’s about bouncing back and being adaptive. And to be adaptive with a young business you really have to have your radar on full power: what exactly are we dealing with here? What kind of animal is this?
It’s like a join-the-dots puzzle. Once you can figure out the constellation, it all fits into place and everything is possible. This seems to apply to lots of situations. A couple of hypothetical examples:
By: Angie Falls
In essence we all are time travellers.
Late at night, there is this thought in my mind that just wouldn’t leave me until I wrote it down. I see the past in front of me and realize that I am unique in the universe and that everything revolves around me. Every event and occurrence in time is to teach me. Every step ahead I learn new lessons from the people I meet and the surroundings in which I move. I travel in time to the future. The years pass by me and I can see and feel the time. I only possess the ability to move forward. Unfortunately, I can’t turn back time. So many times, I wish I could. I must google this.
From the moment we are born we develop both our motives and values. Motives are deep-seated non-conscious desires and are the things that we enjoy doing. Values develop through social conditioning – home, school, religion, work, friends etc. Values are what we feel are important; the things we should do.
David McClelland’s theory on human motivation states that in normal, healthy human beings there are 3 social motives and values that describe the widest range of behaviors; achievement, affiliation and power. Achievement is a concern for achieving a standard of excellence that the individual sets for him/herself. Often people with a dominant achievement motive strive for mastery and expertise in their chosen field. Affiliation is concerned with having positive relationships for the sake of the relationship (and not in service of something else). Individuals with a dominant affiliation motive invest in a few, deep relationships and often have strong reactions towards others – they are clear whom they like and dislike. They prefer environments that are convivial and foster friendship. The power motive is a concern to have influence and impact on others. People with a dominant power motive like to have an audience and visibility. They are often good networkers.
There is no ‘right’ motive profile that determines success; we are all different. The key to our success lies in understanding what drives our behavior in various situations; this is a combination of our motives and our values (what we believe is important at the time) and the conditions that we find ourselves in. Defining personal success is a journey of self-discovery; you need to figure out what is your true purpose, what you are passionate about, what you enjoy and find ways at work to satisfy that need. You must to listen to your inner voice rather than be influenced by others so that you can lead a fulfilling life and not feel regret when you retire because you did not follow your heart.
Learning suggestions:
Determine what your purpose is. This should come out of your motives and values and be a guiding light in terms of what you want to achieve and how you define success.
Your story, our platform: If you’ve got a story and would like to share it with other Femflectors, please let us know. Femflection is all about transferring learnings to help others, be they big or subtle. We want to connect with your feelings, your learnings, your reflections or your hopes for the future – in blog or interview format. Express yourself here. Get in touch with us via anja.uitdehaag@femflection.com
For more content visit our website http://www.femflection.com
By: Angie Falls
It makes sense to first have a good understanding of the word.
A coordinator is a person whose job is to organize events or activities and to collaborate with others to ensure they work together effectively and bring results.
In my profession, as a coordinator, I get the opportunity to work with people from different non-profit organizations. What strikes me is that these days too many people have lost passion in what they do daily. We all must make a living but can’t we have fun when doing so?
This lack of passion effects the people they should be helping in their function. It results in a decline in performance.
There was this case where I was working on when I discovered that the educational psychologist was not effective in her profession. She was deviating from the course that should be properly supporting a student. With her a mentor and a leader for learning. The collaboration between these 3 parties was not what it should have been. I had a few meetings and shared my advice and opinion on the matter. Straightforward and to the point regarding where we should focus on and which process to follow in this specific case.
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”– Marianne Williamson
I am pre-programmed to question myself: can I really do this? What if people don’t like what I have done?
When self-doubts creep in, I get highly sensitive and quick to take things personally. Or – when things have not gone as expected – I just do nothing and give in to the disappointment.
I am not only afraid of failure; being successful is scary as well! Imagine the changes success could potentially bring? Do I really deserve it? What happens when I am going to lose it again? And of course: how are my friends and family going to react? Will I lose their love and acceptance because of envy, jealousy and resentment?
Self-doubt can make you feel inadequate, overwhelmed and insecure. As a result you don’t do the things you need to do, are scared to try new activities and lose the motivation to perform.
To become more confident, stop thinking so much and act.
If you are constantly thinking that you are not good enough or that you will never make it, that is what you will believe and that will become your reality.
Next time you experience fear, ask yourself “What is the worst thing that could happen?” Acknowledge your fear and then let it go. Remind yourself that worst case scenario’s are nothing but products of the imagination and that they rarely come to fruition.
Your story, our platform: If you’ve got a story and would like to share it with other Femflectors, please let us know. Femflection is all about transferring learnings to help others, be they big or subtle. We want to connect with your feelings, your learnings, your reflections or your hopes for the future – in blog or interview format. Express yourself here. Get in touch with us via anja.uitdehaag@femflection.com
For more content visit our website http://www.femflection.com
By: Anja Uitdehaag
“If your dreams do not scare you, they are not big enough.” — Ellen Johnson Sirleaf
All kids dream big. They want to be super famous, super meaningful, super powerful superheroes. (I used to spend quite a bit of time dreaming about doing something special and be famous for making a positive difference to the whole world in my own way.)
As we mature, these dreams are typically educated out of us. With age comes “wisdom” and a more “practical” perspective. We lower our expectations and often fear failure and risk taking.
Such a shame!
What happens when you realise your path is entrepreneurship rather than employment? Lindsay takes up the challenge and shares an account of her journey as it unfolds…
Hi again – I’ve been blogging with Femflections for just over a year now and thanks to those who have been reading and sent over good vibes during that time. As you know, it’s been a tougher ride than I thought it would be so far and now I’m going to send some good vibes out back to you, whoever you are, just because I can 😊.
By: Angie Falls
The new year has begun and it gives me time to reflect on the past year. How exciting has it been? In a short time span, I was privileged to follow up on so many new adventures. Little did I know when I started my coaching study how it would develop. As a professional working in an international environment taught me a lot about communicating with people from different cultures. I wanted to develop this skill on a different level by coaching individuals who graduate and want to have a job experience in an international setting. This turned out to be very successful and one day when I was having lunch with an acquaintance I communicated about the excitement of this new activity. She shared with me that she was looking for a person with expert knowledge on expats. Her company was approached with a new assignment for which she did not have the in-house knowledge. This new assignment she would dare to pursue if I would assist. I instantly agreed and together we started this new chapter in our mutual lives. I was trained by her with the theoretical approach which was developed for this type of coaching. Along the way, she would be my coach for this assignment. The assignment was family coaching in the most extended way you can imagine and mostly for a track of 1 year. It involved the integration of another culture and the way of living. When a highly skilled migrant is invited by a company they mostly leave their home country with their families. Coaching is primarily with the focus on growing children at the age of approximately 16 years and their spouses who need to adapt life in a new country. I started a course Introduction to Psychology to get a better understanding of people in general. The whole coaching process turned out to be very time consuming for me and there were occasions during the coaching track that I needed assistance from behavioral specialists. I ventilated this to my acquaintance with an advice concerning collaboration with other colleagues. She granted me this and I was promoted to manager of the assignment. Two behavioral specialists were introduced to me. I had to select one to assist on this specific assignment. The candidate that I had the best connection with was very well organized in her presentation and a very likable person to collaborate with. When I started working with her she also could report and document on a high level. All of that for a student who graduated and just finished her internship to start her first assignment for the company with me. I discussed the assignment with her and the actions we had to take. I could share with her my knowledge and learn from her as a behavioral specialist. While working on the first assignment I was offered a new assignment to work on. I told my acquaintance that I would like to coordinate this assignment only if I could agree on this with the behavioral specialist with whom I am working right now. I felt that we were the perfect duo for both the assignments. That became coaching journey number two. My goals for 2018? 2018 make way here I come!
Your story, our platform: If you’ve got a story and would like to share it with other Femflectors, please let us know. Femflection is all about transferring learnings to help others, be they big or subtle. We want to connect with your feelings, your learnings, your reflections or your hopes for the future – in blog or interview format. Express yourself here. Get in touch with us via anja.uitdehaag@femflection.com
For more content visit our website http://www.femflection.com
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